Stolen Pages

Page 21// Alive?

"Draxy?" Her weak voice murmured.

"Yeah Pumpkin?"

"Do you still love me?" Her fingers stroked my scar.

"Always." I leaned in and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"Even if I never did?"

I nodded.

"I love you." She whispered looking down at my scar.

"Did something happen sweetheart?"

I could sense that something was wrong.

"I told you about that date with m-my ex Marcus, didn't I?"

"I'll get the pitchfork, you get the car, let's go pay this guy a visit."

"Draxy that's the last time I was happy..." I saw her lips quiver and waited for her to continue, patiently, "My parents kicked me out two days after that."

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me earlier? P where are you staying? How long-"

"Stop it!" She broke down into another set of tears. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

"Hey, it's okay, you're okay, you're with me Pumpkin." I whispered cradling her in my arms.

"Four days. They don't even want to know if I'm alive!" The way her body shook, I could hardly believe that it was her. "And for the first time ever in all these years I asked myself if I really should be alive?"

"Pumpkin-" I pulled away and held her cheeks in my palms, looking for the right words to spurt out.

Just looking at her tear stained face I realised how much I needed her to be herself. Because watching her this way was maddening.

I brushed away her tears with my thumbs and kissed her. She needed to know much I cared. It wasn't very elaborate, she just needed to know that I was there.

My fingers are numb. I haven't had the courage to bleed words for the last three weeks. My mind was unable to find a way out of the tornado of destruction that grew around me with each passing second.

I felt sick. Sick with emotions that struck their jagged claws into my skin. My lips tasted bitter with blood drying at the edges.

I couldn't even let a blank piece of paper see how vulnerable I was. I couldn't stand the idea of some sick pervert going through an imprint of my mind in its most unshielded state and watch the smirk grow on their lips.

I couldn't let my guard down even when I was alone with the ink drowning the pages. I couldn't cry. I couldn't let anyone see how broken I was and I especially couldn't let anyone see how weak I was.

"Draxy... I'm only alive because death terrifies me." She was shaking. I knew how she felt. I could see how desperately she wanted to stop crying but couldn't.

I sighed and let out a tired breath.

Then I moved my fingers to her cheeks and kissed her forehead. My lips trembled, just like hers and whispered dry words against her skin.

"Sometimes... that's the only reason you need... to live."

♥♥♥♥♥