~Her words were my poison. I used them to consume myself.
Disturbingly honest. Painfully strained. Carefully penned down. Dangerously addictive.~
A journal that landed in the right hands and told a whole story with words, no lips could speak.
Two...
I knew I'd regret this! I knew this was a bad idea!
I was thinking about how if everyone's unique it kind of, in some weird way means that none of us are really unique? And I think I thought about it too much because it didn't end well.
I decided to start by telling Chase he isn't special and he hasn't smiled since!
That's probably because my theory made at least a little bit of sense to both of our slightly sleep deprived minds.
I didn't mean it in a bad way. I meant it in a sort of reassuring way?
If none of us are unique, it automatically means that someone's out there making the same terrible decisions as us? It means that I'm not alone in the way I think?
And maybe that means we're not as special as we thought we were but it means so much more!
It means that somewhere, out there, there's a human thinking like you! They get every horrible thought you've ever had! They feel the way you do! They get it! They get all of it!
It doesn't mean you're any less special! You're always going to be freaking special! It just means that you're not alone!
You probably don't even know who they are but there's this unbelievably beautiful connection between you and this other person!
Just thinking about it makes me feel lighter.
That maybe, somewhere, someone's out there thinking just like me?
Maybe they existed in the past. Maybe they exist now. It doesn't even matter.
None of us are unique.
P.S. Maybe an apology cupcake will cheer Chase up?
Maybe she was right? It would make sense? We just force ourselves to believe that we are unique. To feel better about who we are--maybe even feel like we have a purpose?
"Draxy what are you thinking about?"
"Soulmates?" I didn't know if that made sense but it would fit with her theory?
"You don't sound like yourself Draxy? Are you sleepy?"
"No, I'm just thinking, Lace."
"Why?"
"I don't know--it just felt like the right thing to do?"
"But why?"
"Because I think there's a chance soulmates are real? Two people who are the same in every meaningful sense?"
"Did you tell P you love her more than anything in the world?"
"Lace! I don't love her." I sat up with a jerk.
"Yes, you do." She shook her head, exasperated. "That's why you want to talk about soulmates and you just won't tell her because you're scared!"
"I did tell her. But--Lace? It's not going to work out."
"But she loves you too."
"It's more complicated than that."
"Draxy, you're seventeen! Not thirty seven! You have to stop acting like an adult!"
I sat up and looked at her, innocent, annoyed face.
"If I tell P, will you not be mad at me anymore?"
"I may consider it." She nodded.
"Okay, let's go speak to her then."
"Really?"
"Yep."
"Thank you Draxy!"
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