Stolen Pages

Page 37// Spark

I couldn't stare at the blank canvas much longer. I needed a spark. I dropped my brush and walked to the kitchen. Food almost always seemed to help.

I looked through the fridge and found a tomato chilling in the back with an almost empty can of whipped cream.

I shook my head and pulled out the can of whipped cream. I don't know how but I found a packet of gummy bears lying around.

I guess that's going to have to pass for breakfast!

I emptied the can of whipped cream and popped a few gummy bears in my mouth. Then I picked up the box of orange juice that was probably for Lacey and gulped it down.

I walked back to my room and stared at the canvas for a few moments and shook my head.

I needed more than food today. It was a day that lacked inspiration.

I passed a hand through my hair and put on a shirt. I found my keys lying near my paints and grabbed the journal-- just in case.

I got inside my car and flipped the journal open. For the first time in very long I felt my fingers shake. I didn't have the right to go through her diary. It didn't stop me of course. It just made me want more.

I always wondered what the world would look like if I had to use glasses to see all the beauty it held.

Well yeah of course there are still things I can't see without the help of some special equipment but you know, I don't need glasses to conduct my everyday activities like Chase does.

But I wanted to see the world the way he saw it without his glasses.

So I made him take them off and spend the entire day without them. It was a Saturday and we weren't going to leave the house anyways so he agreed.

He said he didn't mind taking them off because even without them he'd be able to see me and that was the only thing that mattered. Which is exactly like him. Chase has always been this really cheesy, adorable guy with the cutest sense of humor. Well, at least for me he has.

He told me that the world was blurry. But that didn't matter because there were always going to be aspects of the world that were either blurry or just too hard to grasp. Or maybe it just made sense to look at them as blurry masses because the clearer they got, the more ambiguous they got.

And when you tried your hardest and couldn't make sense of them-- that's when the world as a whole just pissed you off with it's existence because you were so frustrated with yourself and that one tiny aspect that you couldn't even admire the beauty of the world.

I smirked and walked back to my canvas.

My mind was racing and I allowed it to control my shaky fingers.