~Her words were my poison. I used them to consume myself.
Disturbingly honest. Painfully strained. Carefully penned down. Dangerously addictive.~
A journal that landed in the right hands and told a whole story with words, no lips could speak.
Two...
And I say this in all seriousness. Honestly, today I realized the importance of just saying fuck it. Because no matter what you'll be judged for it or taken advantage of in some capacity.
The assumption that people are more or less decent is bullshit. People have this ability to only be half decent when they want something from you. Being nice is hard and kind of worthless.
So I've decided I won't be nice anymore. It may sound stupid but if I can save myself some disappointment then it's worth it.
I complain too much about things I have no power over when I'm disappointed. And it's not worth it. Accepting mediocrity is what I'm going to focus on now.
If something isn't good enough, fuck it, there's nothing I can do to change it anyway.
Her words blur in front of my eyes. Wendy was sat next to me on the floor. She had an arm wrapped around my shoulder and occasionally she even wiped away a tear from my face. I snapped the journal shut and felt Wendy flinch.
"Hey? I'm here okay." She reassured me.
"Thank you," I said.
"Hey, always Draxy. I'll always be there. A promise is a promise."
"Wend, I'm scared." I confessed.
"He can't hurt you, okay?" She kissed the side of my head.
"What if he hurts Lace?"
"He won't."
"How can you be so sure?"
"I just know, okay? I'm not going to let anyone hurt you." She stood up and held out a hand for me, "come on," she said. I took her hand and got on my feet. Wendy wasn't exactly menacing. She was 5'4", had the biggest smile, she had pretty big eyes and was the softest person I knew. But she wasn't to be messed with. And when she said she wouldn't let anyone hurt me, I believed her. No questions asked. She just made everything feel better. And I appreciated her more than I could ever put into words.
"Did you tell anyone else you were coming here?" I asked her.
"Well, Finn knows. I considered telling P but then decided against it. And uh--Lock."
"You told Lock?"
"Drax, you sounded so--so broken--"
"Fine, whatever. You don't have to explain yourself. You're here. That's all that matters."
We walked into the living room only to find Lock waiting for us.
"You didn't tell me he actually showed up." I said to Wendy.
"Lock had something to say to you."
"Your dad's a dirtbag and I wish he just sort of spontaneously combusted or something." Lock said.
"Uh--thanks?" I said.
"Draxy, why didn't you call me?" He asked.
"You hit me in the face." I reminded him.
"Right. And you deserved it. What about that?"
"I didn't think we were talking."
"Shut the fuck up, Draxy. I'm always here when shit with your old man comes up, okay?"
"Okay."
"Okay." I nodded.
"I'm fine, you know?"
"Oh, sure."
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