~Her words were my poison. I used them to consume myself.
Disturbingly honest. Painfully strained. Carefully penned down. Dangerously addictive.~
A journal that landed in the right hands and told a whole story with words, no lips could speak.
Two...
It was getting dark and I was nowhere near home. I didn't really have a destination in mind. It was just one of those times where I drove around aimlessly for hours. I liked spending time with myself. It wasn't like when I was painting.
No, painting was different. When I was painting or sketching or even coming up with an idea I lost myself in my work. I let myself become a part of the painting.
Everything I painted was a part of me. Every finished product was just some tiny part of me. But not when I was working on it. No, when I painted something I never thought of it as being a part of me. For the time that I was working on it, I was a part of it.
P used to love to watch me paint. She'd lay on the floor and just observe me. Me. Not what I was painting.
It took the joy out of painting for me at the time. So I developed the habit of driving around to clear my head. It gave me a different kind of clarity. Somehow I found that painting made everything appear different to me. I saw the world differently. But driving made the world appear more like itself.
The sky was a shade of pink, blended in with a dark purple and edging on the orange of the setting sun.
I decided to stop.
I pulled over to the side and watched the sky as it changed color. I pulled out the journal and sighed.
It was the kind of thing I expected diary chick to enjoy. Watching the sky as it got darker.
Day 3.
At this point you're probably wondering what happened to day one and day two, well all you need to know is that they got cancelled.
It's Day 3 of No Chase week. Chase specifically asked me to make special notes of every little interesting thing that happened to me over the week. In return he'd disappear for a week and give me some space.
Which is necessary because if I had to spend one more day around him and his stinky socks, I would lose my sanity.
Back to the problem at hand.
Nothing interesting seems to be happening to me?
In the three days that Chase has been away I haven't had anything remotely interesting happen to me and now I'm worried because in four days Mr. My Socks Stink But You Love Me Anyway, is going to magically reappear and I will have nothing to show him!
I even tried cleaning my room to just get a hold of something interesting! But all I ended up with was a clean room? And who wants those anyways?
Argh!
But! On the bright side if there's an absolute lack of interesting things over the course of this week, that itself would be rather interesting?
So... All I have to do now is make sure that nothing interesting happens?
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