Stolen Pages

Page 27// What?

"Draxy I can't do this." Her voice trembled and she tugged at my hand.

"It's going to be okay." I assured her.

"I can't face them this way." She let go of my hand and wiped her cheeks. "Don't make me do this Draxy."

I couldn't watch her that way and she knew that.

"Alright, we'll go home then?"

"Drax, I uh- I need a few moments alone."

I nodded and pecked her cheek. "Take your time P."

And I made my way to the cafeteria. I needed food.

I don't know what's wrong with me anymore! I'm angry. I'm always angry! I'm always so so angry! And there's no particular- even partially acceptable- reason for it! It's just there like a rock stuck in my shoe.

But that's not what bothers me about it. Nope nopity nope! The part that bothers me is that I don't hate the fact that I'm constantly in this murderous state. It makes me feel almost... Powerful? Anger gives me the illusion of being powerful.

Just when it's almost out of hand and my hands are shaking, my veins waiting to pop, my cheeks reddening, and that little bubble in my head bursts and just for a moment I can feel the entirety of that anger. The hint of darkness that I feel within me. I get a taste of my true twisted self... That's when I feel the madness. The power.

But just as fast as it comes, it leaves. The anger begins to fade and some sort of distorted pain emerges. Because that's why we feel angry right? Anger is just another form of pain. A deeper more unexplained sort of pain. It's destructive- almost physical?

And eventually what you're left with is just a shadow of that rage against pure and simple, disarming pain.

By this point, this was what I did to make my day that tiny bit better.

~I longed for her voice.

As if it wasn't creepy enough that I was reading her diary.

It was at these times that it became apparent that she was real? And that was the aspect of her that I was most intrigued by.

Her vulnerable side. Because all it reminded me of was myself. Very specific moments where we were for an unbelievable second, the very same person.

I gripped the diary and held back the urge to throw it away. I was desperate to get rid of her because now I just sounded lame as fuck!

But I couldn't even throw her away. I looked down at the diary and ran my fingers along the- "Ow!"

My eyes widened. "I'm sorry." I said.

"Can't say I expected better from you." She scowled.

I didn't really know how to respond to that?

"What? What do you want? I'm not going to sleep with you if that's what you want. Now walk away." She waved me off.

I smirked at the diary.

I had just bumped into the jackpot itself.

Melody Walden.

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