~Her words were my poison. I used them to consume myself.
Disturbingly honest. Painfully strained. Carefully penned down. Dangerously addictive.~
A journal that landed in the right hands and told a whole story with words, no lips could speak.
Two...
Some things take a while to sort of sink in and this specific realization has taken me close to forever. When I say forever, I mean in me years. My forever has only existed for as long as I have and will only exist for as long as I do. My forever is mine and only mine.
The realization that I made today was that humans are kind of incredible. I never truly appreciated it but now I kind of do. Not because we're complicated beings, which we are and I can appreciate that but that's not what I realized today, so it doesn't technically count. But I guess this counts as humans being complicated creatures.
Okay, I'm getting distracted now so I'm just going to go ahead and tell you before I forget because that happens a lot. I forget so much of who I am, despite trying super hard to keep a record of the inner functioning of my mind and I'm really not making any progress now, am I?
Okay.
Today I realized that humans, despite being really tiny and insignificant in the grand scheme of things, continue existing, unless of course this is all a simulation in which case we're probably really really important and the reason why the universe around us exists in the first place?
On the off chance that this is real though, I'm glad we exist. Yes, there are side effects to human existence but the fact that it exists anyway just makes me happy? I'm happy that I get to be a part of this.
P.S. Chase is being a whiny little shit today.
P.P.S. I still think he's adorable.
"I take it Chase is the boyfriend?" Wendy asked, sniffling.
"Yeah, but I don't think he's real." I confessed. I hadn't really talked to anyone about the journal like this. It felt special.
"You didn't have to share this with me, you know?" She said, wiping her cheeks.
"You needed it."
"I know. But you could've just pretended like everything was okay."
"But it's not, is it?"
"No, it's not."
"Wend, do you want to talk about it?" I was concerned about her.
"No, I'll get over it." She nodded and flashed me one of her precious smiles. I felt an almost instant sense of relief.
"Okay. But if you want to talk about it, you know I'll listen."
"I know." She sighed.
"And I'm here for you."
"I know."
We sat there in a comfortable silence.
A few minutes later, she lay down again and pulled the covers over herself.
"You can go to school if you want to, I'll be fine." I heard her whisper in a muffled voice.
"Are you sure you'll be okay Wend?"
"Yes. Now please leave before I change my mind."
"Thanks." I whispered. I didn't want to leave her but we both needed this.
She needed to be alone for a bit and I needed to drag myself to school to get an education.
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