Why Can't It Be?

Chapter 12 - The Admission

I woke up that Sunday ng may kaba. It was the day na mag pe-perform kame ni Jan sa ASP, All- Star Party. Every Sunday lang yun nag aair kaya usually live na ginagawa ang show na yon. 12 pa ang airing pero I need to be there as early as 7 in the morning para sa rehearsal at make up.

I'll be doing 3 production numbers, and 2  spiels, 1 of those prod numbers is yung sa amin ni Jan. The song instantly played inside my head like it's on queue every time. My boo.

Hindi ko na alam ang nangyari after that night na nakipagsuntukan siya sa Vamps. I've heard the news on TV and on the internet but I didn't hear straight from him. Well, no news is good news right? Hindi ko na lang pinansin yung pagaalala ko sa loob loob. I should probably get up and take a bath.

Besides ayaw ko na rin i-stressang sarili ko dahil sinabi rin naman sa akin ni Ate Pure na huwag na lang ako mag comment pag may mga ambush interview. The people are linking the incident to me. I, myself cannot confirm or deny dahil wala rin namang sinabi sa akin si Jan that night.

Isang araw ang lumipas ng hindi kame nagkausap or nagkasalubong ni Jan. Ang alam ko ay nagpapahinga daw sa bahay niya because of the minor injury na nakuha niya from the brawl he was involved in.

Kung si Jan ay pumutok lang ang labi at dinugo ang ilong, Calvin got it much worse. Nakita ko sa news kung paano ka maga ang mata niya. May black eye, putok din ang labi saka may cut sa noo. God! Gaano kalakas sumuntok si Jan para magkaganon ang itsura ni Calvin. He was even hospitalized for that. I felt sorry for him, kahit papaano.

Buong araw laman ng mga showbiz balita at forum si Jan at Calvin. Pero walang ibinigay na official statement ang panig ni Jan and surprisingly, wala ring press release ang kampo ni Calvin. I suspect na ipinatawag ang mga managers nila sa boss namin to settle it quietly. Hindi rin kasi magandang publicity iyon lalo na at may upcoming movie kame ni Jan.

Sunday na ngayon and I am not sure kung tuloy pa rin ba yung production number ni Jan. Baka kasi cancelled na dahil hindi siya makakarating.

Since last night, nagdadalawang isip na ako kung itetext ko ba siya o tatawagan para makibalita pero umurong ako dahil hindi ko alam kung ano ba yung dapat kong sabihin. Hanggang sa nakatulog na ako. I wasn't able to text him anyway.

I sat on my bed and combed my hair using my fingers. Kinusot ko ang mga mata ko na bagong gising pa lang. Dumapo ang mata ko sa cellphone ko.

Hindi naman siguro masama kung mag tatanong ako kung makakarating siya. It wouldn't look awkward naman siguro? I was contemplating, biting my lips before I decided. I sighed. Why am I hesistating so much kung magtatanong lang naman. It's expected na mag tanong ako to confirm. Kaya kinuha ko na rin ang cellphone ko para itext siya.

I slid to unlock the screen of my phone when I saw few unread messages from last night. One from Keira, two from Ate Pure, one from Mommy who is again very worried of me, and three from Jan.

"Hey. No call from you? I guess everything is fine with you?"

"Tulog ka na?"

"Alright. See you tomorrow Camilla."

I checked on the time 12:20, 12:21, 12:25AM pumasok ang messages ni Jan. Tulog na nga ako mga oras na yan. Ginapangan ako ng kaba habang binabasa ang texts ni Jan.

Konti na lang gusto ko na mag feeling. Pero, no. No expectation, no disappointments, no heartaches. In this world that I belong to, mahirap ma attach dahil madaling magbago ang ihip ng hangin. To consider, maraming pwedeng maging motibo. Mahirap na. So, no. Stop your assumptions Camilla.

Getting up, I ignored his texts and went inside my bathroom to take a bath. Maya-maya lang ay andiyan na si Ate Julie para sunduin ako papuntang ABC-SBN.