Why Can't It Be?

Chapter 13 - The Ad-lib

So much for the "mas lalong hindi kita type! Hinding hindi kita magiging type ever!" Camilla, ugh. Now that I admitted to myself na crush ko nga si Jan, kinain ko nga ang sinabi ko. Tama nga siya, mahirap magsalita ng tapos.

What just happened? How did that person I almost hated became my crush? And crush talaga Camilla? What are you 15? I cringed at myself.

I shook my head with those thoughts. Wala namang masama. Everybody has a crush and I think hindi pa naman malala yung akin. Tamang kilig lang, pampa good vibes sa masalimuot kong issues sa buhay.

"Nagtetext-an pala kayo ni papa Jan ha?" inasar na ako ni Honey.

"Hindi. Kagabi lang yon and di nga ako nakareply kasi tulog na ako." I answered. Ayaw ko magpahalata sa kanila. Pero feeling ko, they already know. They must have sensed it nung di ko din napigilan ang kiligin. I swear, it was a first for me.

I have crushes pero hindi local at mas lalo ng hindi ko kapwa artista. I crush on international stars like most fangirls. This is the first time na kinilig ako sa isang kakilala.

Kay Calvin? Yes, he is gwapo. Magaling pumorma, tyaka may dating pero hindi ako kinilig sa kanya honestly. I don't know how we were able to let the fans believe that we are madly in love with each other. Sobrang galing siguro namin umarte.

Naguilty na naman ako. I feel sorry for the shippers, yung halos dalawang taon din na umasa sila sa real love na meron kame ni Calvin sa isa't isa. They must be very broken hearted. I don't know how to face them, mas nasasaktan ako for them kesa dun sa nalaman kong pag checheat ni Calvin sa akin.

It wasn't entirely my idea pero part ako ng panlilinlang and for that, my heart breaks for them. I should have known it from the start at di na pumayag. Akala ko kasi things will be for the better. I hoped that Calvin and I will eventually fall for each other when we get to know the other better. Pero mali ako and the result is devastating.

Marami kameng fans na nasaktan. Oo nga at buhay namin to na dapat wala na silang say, pero parte sila ng buhay namin na to and in one way or the other we owe it to them. Hurting them this way will never be reasonable.

Sa mga solid ko naman na followers, ramdam ko pa naman sila. They will still be there to support me. Grabe lang yung love nila for me, unimaginable. I am humbled and will forever be grateful for people like them.

Getting up from where I fell,maybe this is my way of apologizing to them. This time I will make it better. Para sa mga taong naniniwala pa din sa akin, para sa mga taong di rin ako sinusukuan.

"Rehearsal na in 5 minutes Li." Ate Julie said.

I nodded looking at her through the mirror. Tinali ko lang yung buhok ko into a ponytail saka nag powder and lipgloss bago tumayo sa make up chair.

"Ay iba na siya o...mag rerehearse lang naka lipgloss pa." narinig ko si Koi. Alam kong inaasar niya ako. Tinapon ko sa kanya yung takip ng lipgloss ko.

"Shut up!" sabi ko sa kanya pero abot tenga naman ang ngiti ko.
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Nasa may left side na ako ng backstage and I saw from where I was standing na nasa right side naman si Jan.

"Okay, dito kayo manggaling..." sabi nung floor director sa amin. "Pag play pa lang nung kanta saka unang papasok si Jan. Mauuna ka kasi di pa naman part ni Lila yung first verse ng kanta."

"Okay." Jan said.

"Then sa part mo na Li...dito ka naman mangagaling tapos sasalubungin ka ni Jan...sabay na kayo pupunta sa center." he then showed us yung may naka markang X. Ibig sabihin hanggang doon lang ang lalakarin namin.