Why Can't It Be?

Chapter 47 - The Pain

Ilang araw pa lamang mula ng makauwi ang mag iina sa kanilang bahay. Muling hinaharap ang buhay na pansamantalang iniwan upang ipagluksa si Jan.

Pumunta sila ng Mindoro para magpalipas ng panahon. Umalis silang punong puno ng pangungulila ngunit tila walang nagbago hanggang sa kanilang pagbabalik.

Ilang buwan ay ganoon  pa din, tulad ng nasa Mindoro ay tahimik silang mag iina. Kanya kanyang kulong sa kwarto. Lumalabas lamang tuwing kakain at muling papasok kapag tapos na.

Ganoon mailalarawan ang bawat araw na lumipas sa bahay ng mga Antonio. Lifeless and quiet...lonely with Jan not around.

Hindi na naririnig ng ina ang maingay na yabag ni Jan kapag patakbong umaakyat sa hagdanan. Wala na rin ang makulit na tawa nito sa tuwing bini-bully niya sina Jayne at Jesi. Wala ng humahalik sa noo ni Bridgette sa tuwing magpapaalam itong uuwi na sa condo niya.

Jan despite his busy schedule would see to it to check on them. Hindi man lagi pero sa abot ng kanyang makakaya ay hindi niya iyon isinasantabi.

Sometimes he would just sneak in to their rooms to kiss them goodnight and leave after.

Sanay na silang dumadating si Jan dis oras ng gabi para lang mangamusta. They got used to all of it that they didn't realize how special it was until Jan wasn't around to do it anymore.

Bridgette regretted those times that she didn't even open her eyes to see Jan for a minute when he said goodnight. When she didn't even asked him how his day went or was there anything he wanted to talk about.

Those little things she wished she have done for Jan.

Those little things-- they become the biggest of things when they're gone. Even the tiniest detail of a memory is sketched with our biggest regret. Stabs us with pain of remembering and regretting at once.

Those liitle things were all too late.

Bridgette may look back but she can never go there again.

"Anak kung alam ko lang na mawawala ka sa sana..." pumikit siya habang pinigilan ang pagluha "...bumangon man lang sana ako sa tuwing mag papaalam ka." nasa loob ngayon ang ina sa silid ni Jan. Yakap ang unan nito, samyo ang natitirang bakas ng amoy ng anak.

"Jan, I'm sorry...sorry kung hindi ka man lang nasabihan ni Mama ng I love you bago ka umalis nung gabing iyon..." Bridgette covers her mouth to muffle her cries.

Naalala niya ang gabing iyon. Ang huling gabi na buhay pa si Jan.

"I love you Ma." ikinagulat ni Bridgette ang biglang pagyakap sa kanya ni Jan habang nakaupo siya sa gilid ng kama at nagpapahid ng cream sa mukha.

"Hmm...kapag talaga may kailangan ka sobrang lambing mo." sabi pa niya kay Jan na nanatiling nakayakap sa kanya at di bumibitaw.

Before Jan left for Nueva Ecija, he went to see his mother and told her about his plans. About his plans on marrying Camilla soon.

Jan remained quiet with a meaningful grin plastered over his face.

"Tingin ko ay hindi na talaga kita mapipigilan Jandrei." his mother said looking at him knowingly.

Mas lumapad lamang ang ngisi ni Jan at yumakap uli sa ina.

"Binuntis mo na ba si Camilla kaya ka nagmamadali?" she shot him a look.

"Hindi Ma. Hindi yun ang dahilan." he laughs "Although, I can work on that." he adds and Bridgette glared at him.

"I'm still not comfortable. Ano na lang ang sasabihin ng mga magulang ni Camilla?"