[COMPLETED] Change - Book 1[Fruits basket and OHSHC fanfic]

Chapter forty-four: Realizations suck..

It felt awkward falling back asleep that night knowing what an unusual dream I had. I wanted to talk about—- no, I couldn't. It was just to weird and embarrasing.

When I woke up the next morning, the only person sitting at the kitchen table was Hatsuharu, struggling to eat the final peice of toast one of the old maids was forcing him to eat. "How will you be strong if you are just bones?" She scolded him as she handed me a plate loaded with breakfast foods. 

It wasn't such a problem to finish it all since I hadn't had a decent meal since yesterday's breakfast. "Thanks." I told her as I headed out the door. As I neared the front entrance, a serious voice asked "Where are you going?" I turned around to find Ai holding Satoshi. 

"Just going out." I threw the satchel hanging on the coat rack over my shoulder.

"Why should you care anyway?" All she did was roll her eyes and walk away, giving me my answer.

Honestly, I just wanted to get out of my house to clear my mind.

So that morning, I took a walk in the park, the same park Kaoru took me one Saturday. He never took me out much anymore. Where have the days gone? I asked myself. For some odd reason, things felt like they were changing, going to be different. I didn't know why I had this feeling. 

Oh yeah, that's just when I remember Kaoru, the guy I had the oddest dream about. Why? Why of all guys did it have to be him? And why was the dream so damn cheesy? Sometimes I really questioned myself know adays. It's not like I'd ever fallen in love with someone....

Wait. Let's go back.

What did I just think?

Fallen in love. 

The words played back in my mind a thousand and one times.

Fallen in love.

..I didn't think I was. I didn't know I was! Ugh why is this so complicated! I blushed and picked up my pace, circling around the pond once again. Fallen in love. Fallen in love. I never thought of something like this before! The smile on his face, the way it shines brightly and perfectly, his laugh, his voice...now my mind was just screwing around with me.

The way I wanted to talk to him again and again and again...

Then I wondered what he thought about me. Did he see me as just a friend? Or more? He would blush whenever someone would say something about me to him, not to mention how angry he got at Hikaru at the wedding. Maybe he felt no connection at all, maybe it was just me suffering...

You know he loves you.

I stomped my foot hard on the ground and shouted a big, fat "NO!"

"NO! NO! NO! IT'S NOT LIKE—-"

"Shizuko?" I hear a voice come from behind me. And I oddly reconized it. No. Not oddly. This was the worst case scenario possible. Out of all people who could of been behind it just haddd to be the person I least wanted to see him at the moment. No matter what happpened before— after the dream—- when I wanted to seem him—- what was I thinking?