The Collected Poetry

Ghost

Ghost            Part I: The Haunting

I am afraid of this haunting,

I don’t want it.

When I came back to a house

I did not know.

They haunt these antique things, ether spirits that live like vapors

And turning my head and stomach they conjure to me weird smells

My mind turns to thoughts and words I never knew I had had

They twist me and I cannot breathe, thinking of the immortal

The real, the unreal, and that is you. You that hang around me.

Was it drowning, or fire, or hanging, did the noose tighten round

Your neck? I loved you back when I did not feel love, when I did not feel.

Back in when my brain made no full thoughts and all was mist.

Seeing now those places again crystal clear makes me pause.

Yet

You

Are

That

Mist

This clock of mine does hold within its heart/sphere

A sort of natural proclivity to hold these relics.

You are just that. A bone, a skull, a skeleton

That lives within my thought and without

As I know from all attempt to believe

Not in your existence. But it’s true

That you haunt sharp bends in

the road. There I am prone

to feel pangs of. I know

Not what. Emotion

Comes and goes

In waves. It

hurts so

always.

Til

I

Tell

Myself

That you are

Never going to hurt

Me again, Though I know

this to be a lie. Help me please

I reach to a mortal foe in this case

Perhaps you will not aid me in my un

clear endeavor. I would naught but see

In truth why. Yet I feel a sort of connection

To you. Being in me you know my every thought

And desire, and suffering, and secret, and all things

of importance deep within my tormented soul. You are

my god in that respect, an eternal watchman of equal fairness

and foulness. Benevolence and wrath. Each matched within you.

Should I attempt at the end of my days

To call out to you and rid myself

You are a beast! A monster! An unholy

Unrighteous thing! I would laugh