Secret Mistake

62.

GIA POV

I wanted to go see my mom on my own. So I left Ryan with Delano so they could have some alone time. Taking the car I drove to the hospital. Luckily no one was here to see her.

Walking in the room I see she had just woke up. "Hey" I said.

"Gia? Hey where Ryan?" She asked.

"He's home with his dad. I wanted to come here alone so we could talk". Moving a chair closer to her bed. I sat down "so... how is everything?".

"So far so good. How are you?" She asked.

"Eh, can't complain I'm moving in a couple of days" she looked surprised "really where?".

"I can't disclose that type of information. But out of state".  She looked down at her fingers. "Are you moving away because of how I treated you?". No shit Sherlock. "Pretty much".

"Gia I am sorry for everything. It wasn't fair the way I treated you" she said. I nodded "you told me this already".

"Let me explain... growing up your grandmother used to treat me the same way I treated you. But in those days it was a color issue. She didn't like the fact I was dark skinned. So she bullied me ever chance she got. Making me feel worthless. When I went off to college I got away from it. That's when a new sense of freedom came over me. I met your dad and he showed me attention that I never got before. All of that went to my head. When your dad went away I friended your real dad. Things escalated quickly and next thing you know I was pregnant. Because I didn't want to end up back home I told your dad everything. He stepped up and you was born. I stopped contact with your real dad. But you came out looking exactly like him. You reminded me of that mistake and I lashed out at you for what I did. I realized I was my mother all over again. But by that time it was too late".

"You couldn't go to therapy like every other normal person?" I asked.

"Gia I'm being serious here. Opening up to you" she said.

"I understand. But I feel like you are excusing what you did because you went through it before. You couldn't break the cycle?. No you kept it going. I have a son now and I couldn't imagine treating him the way you treated me".

"You know what? I'm trying to open up to you and you are not taking anything I'm telling you seriously".

"No but when you're trying to bullshit me I will call you out on it. Using childhood trauma for reasoning why you put me through hell. You didn't have too. But you chose to. That's the difference".

She didn't say anything. She knows I'm right.

"Gia, please leave. It's obvious you didn't come here to reconcile" she said.

"Actually I did, but then you decided to come up with a poor reason why you did what you did".

"I will call security if you don't leave, now!" She warned. Sighing I got up and walked out with nothing else said. She will never change. Never.

//

When I got home that whole conversation was replaying in my head. She tried to play me with that story. Even though I never met my grandparents on her side. But still...

"How was your mom?" Delano asked sitting next to me on the couch. "Very weird. She started off being nice. But then she comes out with this story how her mother bullied her for being too dark. And how that led her to cause me hell cause I reminded her of her mistake. But then I found the story to be an excuse. That because she put me through so much I would never treat Ryan that way. It was a choice she made to do that".

"Gia your mother is a manipulator. She will never fully accept you or fully be sorry for what she did. Actions speak louder than words. Remember that. It's easier to say sorry than to show it".

He has a point.

"Sometimes I just wish I had a normal family. But that's asking for too much". Delano pulled me into him "no such thing as normal. But at least Ryan has us to lean on".

"He sure does" I smiled.

"I'm still a little shocked about your brother" he laughed.

"Oh you mean sha-sha?. I didn't even suspect he was into men. I guess it's true whatever you do in the dark will always come to light". Delano couldn't stop laughing "sha-sha".

"But tomorrow I'm going to go over to see Bria. Spend some quality time with her before we really leave this time". Delano nodded "I think that'll be a good thing for you both".

I heard my cell going off.. Delano got up to get my phone. He tossed it to me. Not recognizing the number I answered it anyway.

"Hello?".

"Is this the daughter of Ms. Tina?" The caller asked.

"Yes, is everything okay?" I asked.

"We are informing you your mother had a stroke and she passed away" the caller said.

"Are you sure?. I was just there hours ago and she was fine" I said.

"Yes we are positive. She had a stroke two hours ago and she passed about ten minutes ago. We tried everything to bring her back".

"Okay, Umm... Okay I guess I'm on my way there. Thank you". The caller hanged up the phone leaving me on the other end.

"Everything okay?"Delano asked. "My mom passed away just now" I said still holding my phone to my ear.

"What?!" He asked. I nodded "she gone. And my last conversation with her was putting her in her place". Delano came over and hugged me "it's okay".

"I'm fine. Which is weird you would think I would feel type of emotion but I don't". Delano just stared at me for some time. "I'm fine" reassuring him.

He helped me off the couch so I could go grab Ryan. Walking out the door I felt his eyes on me "what?".

"I just want to make sure you're okay. This is your mother that you flew from Nevada to see if she was okay. And now you are acting like she's a stranger".

Shrugging "I don't know maybe my emotions aren't in check right now. I can't give you an explanation for why my emotions aren't responding to the death of my mother!".

"Okay relax, let's just get down to the hospital and figure out what needs to be in order" Delano said. I mean yeah it's strange that I don't feel like crying or anything I'm just numb. Who knows if I'll grieve over her but time will tell.