Her Keeper

Chapter 93

One year and seven months later

--Julliet Morrison--

Letting go was by far the hardest thing I've ever had to do. 

After you give so much to someone and they still don't do right by you, there's only so much that you could take.

I sighed as I got out of bed, walking toward my bathroom. I relieved my bladder was now proceeding to brush my teeth, I squeezed toothpaste on to my toothbrush and wet it under the running tap water. I looked up into my mirror and observed my glowing skin and smiled and little to myself. At least my skin care routine was working out.

I do admit that it's painful at times. You know, still living in the house me and my ex-husband shared, it has its days where it takes a toll on me. Like our anniversary for example. It was hard.

I lay in our bed sometimes and think of the love we used to make.

Geo tried his best to persuade me not to go through with the divorce, but I just couldn't take anymore. I mean, sometimes I wish I'd stayed, but I couldn't do that to myself.

He lives not too far away and sometimes when he come over to pick up the kids, I find myself lusting after him.

He took our divorce hard. Thinking of it, he's probably still going through it. He now pays someone to manage his business and at first, he claimed that it was temporary. He said that he needed time to go through the motions of our divorce, but he still hasn't been acting much of an active role in his business. Thalia also told me that his drinking is bad and he picked back up smoking. 

I love him. I always will,but I had to love me more for once.

Rinsing my mouth, I put the toothbrush back in its place as tears trickled down my cheeks and before I knew it, I was full out sobbing.

I miss Geovanni, I could admit that, but I had to let it go.

Thalia and Elliott recently got married and I wished that Geo and I had that type of marriage, but we didn't.

It sucked knowing that people could love each other so much and still be bad for one another. That was us.

I washed my face as I tried pulling myself together.

Our divorce was for the best. At least, that's what I told myself over an over again, but why doesn't it feel that way?

I patted my face dry with my face towel and a knocking was heard coming from downstairs. I sighed and jogged down the stairs toward the front door, pulling it open.

The first thing that hit me was his scent. Then, I looked up reluctantly at him.

"I'm taking the kids to a carnival, do you wanna come?" He asked, trying his best to seem unbothered, but we both see through each other. 

"Actually, I have some housework to do. Maybe next time?" I shut it down.

"Cool." He nodded.

"Have fun and kiss my babies for me." I called after him as I watched him jog down my front stairs.

His hair was braided and he wore a grey hoodie and grey sweats. He looked great. I felt myself salivating over him like a dog in heat.

I watched as he got into his Range and backed out of my driveway before pulling off down the street.

He didn't have my phone number, so that's why be drove a the way over here to ask me that. I changed it when our divorce was made official and I never gave it to him.

Before I changed my number, he'd text and call endlessly, begging me to work things out, begging me to let him come home, begging me to talk.

There were times where I most gave in, but I knew that I couldn't. I couldn't do that anymore.

--Geovanni Parris--

My life was a fucking mess, bruh. I looked at a three of my kids eating breakfast at the table and chit chatting among each other as I became lost in my own thoughts.

Julliet was taking this shit way better than me. I was fucked up about it. I keep thinking about her, what used to be our little family and our divorce.

It's difficult. I hadn't been myself too much lately. All I did was wake up and hoped to die during the course of the day and when that doesn't work, I'd  drink myself into oblivion and sleep the rest of the day. I wasn't dead, but it was close enough.
O
The only time I was sober was when the kids came over and it is usually difficult to control my drinking habit.

Elliott got married recently and Julliet was there. Obviously. Her and Thalia were extremely close these days. I was Elliott's best man and my entire speech before my toast was advising him to do better at marriage than I did. Cherish his wife in ways that I failed to cherish mine. Be there for her and I was talking to Elliott, but I was also confessing my shortcomings to Julliet.

It was ironic that she caught the bouquet that night and I caught the garter. I had one final dance with my ex-wife the night after our divorce was made official at somebody else's wedding. I wish that there was a sing that never ended, so I could've held her forever.

"Daddy, are you ok?" I heard Guilia ask and that's when I became aware that I was crying in front of my children.

"Yeah, baby. Daddy has allergies." I lied and watched as they accepted it before I got up from the table and made my way up to my bathroom.

I splashed my face with warm water as I tried to pull myself together. I couldn't do this while my kids are around.

God, this is hard. Why won't you just let me die?

This is so fuking hard.

😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶

~Dolly