A World That Is Not Mine

III.

"Solan?" Stevie sat up in her sleep after hearing her son's voice. She let out a light gasp and put her hand to her head.

Rick put his hand on her back and started to rub it lightly because, he knew she was always having nightmares or flashbacks in her dreams. He was used to trying to soothe her in his sleep. It was a natural inclination, to want to help her.

She broke down into some tears and sat sniffling for a few moments. She just needed to release the pain, like she had to sometimes. She couldn't understand why every time she started to hear his voice she would wake up, rather than let her higher self take over so she could see him. It was like a tease and she just wanted to see her son. She wiped her last tears and laid down once again. Sometimes that small cycle of events could be a routine. Having nightmares or dreams, crying over them, and then trying to go back to sleep.

~

When the next morning arrived, Stevie would get up and get ready to start her journey to the other realm. It was moderately early so that would give her time, till evening to do her thing. Her husband would be back around six and her guide told her it wouldn't take too much time. To ensure that, she wanted to start early in the day. She created a circle of salt and sat Indian style inside. There she lit some candles to fit her occasion-- white candles. Right after, she pulled three tarot cards out---over her journal and sat them face down in front of her. Saying an incantation in her head with her eyes shut, she waved a pendulum over the cards. When the pendulum hit the card, she flipped it over. She shut her eyes once again and held a black tourmaline in one hand and a turquoise in the other. The black was to give her protection in the realm while, the turquoise would give her strength. Closing her eyes, she meditated in the silence of her home as she slowly crossed over to where she needed to be.

Stevie opened her eyes and looked around, trying to verify her surroundings. She stood up from her knees and looked down at her attire. It was the same black dress. She wasn't sure if she persecuted the spell right. She slowly walked through the room that was normally white---it was more gray, but she could feel it was the same place. "Solan?" she called. She didn't really know if calling for him would help her, but she was confused.

"Look inside yourself," a voice said.

"Who said that?" she turned around and looked all over---it didn't at all sound like the blue eyes. The voice sounded familiar, but she was unsure.

"It's me," the voice continued.

"Solan?" she asked softly. The voice seemed older, but she had a feeling that's who it was.

"You have to look for me."

"Where should I look now?" she turned around quickly a couple times hoping to find him. "Why can't I see you?"

"Stevie?" the blue eyes came back. They were in her presence and so was white room. It wasn't gray anymore.

"What happened to Solan?" she asked. She wiped some fresh tears off of her face. "Where did he go?"

"He's not here, nor has he been," the voice continued.

"What?" she asked confusedly. "I just heard him."

"But could you see him?"

She let out a light sigh and shook her head. "No, I couldn't."

"Stevie, he's just as strong as you. He has been trying to contact you---he started to figure it out. He knows you've never given up and he hurts for you."

"Where is he?" she asked again.

"I can't tell you because, I don't know. I can tell you he's older now and he's wiser---he understands the power you both hold. He wants to help you, but it's going to be hard."