crybaby

2

from Peepers🐣💔: baby
from Peepers🐣💔: please answer my calls
from Peepers🐣💔: i'm coming over
to Peepers🐣💔: i'm busy and not home. ttyl :)

i set my phone on the table with a deep sigh. my friend cat decided it would be a fantastic idea to drag me out. i'm kinda not mad at it since gus texted me but i'm also mad because i'm too sad to do anything. today is a year since me and gus met at zumies. i wanted to text him and tell him i'd be at his house soon but cat would literally kill me.

"hey!" cat said seeing that peep texted me again.

"what did i say about texting him" she warned.

"he was blowing up my phone cat. leave me alone already." i said running my fingers through my hair.

"hey don't be so hostile." she said rolling her eyes.

"you fucking dragged me out when you know it's a rough day for me." i yelled. she looked so upset. i didn't care.

"i'm going home." i said.

to Peepers🐣💔: i'm coming over.
from Peepers🐣💔: bet.

i got in my car and sped my way to peeps house. i hadn't seen him in a few days and i was missing him. when i had finally arrived to his house his hands were on me in seconds. his touch felt like fire but i loved every second of it.

"i missed you." he mumbled into my neck.

"just fuck me." i moaned.

"as you wish." he picked me up and threw me on his bed.

he slipped his shirt off and i stared at him in awe. he practically ripped my clothes off of me and began to eat me out. shivers danced all over my skin. we didn't speak much except for my begs and pleads for him. when we finished he stood in front of me in just his underwear with a lit blunt in his mouth.

"smoke this blunt with me then cuddle." he spoke softly.

"you're not gonna tell me to leave tomorrow are you?" i said grabbing his hoodie from the end of the bed.

"nah baby come here." he said crawling in the bed and pulling me into him. i took the blunt from his mouth and took a hit while my head rested on his chest.

"dani." peep mumbled.

"what gus." i spoke softly.

"do you love me?" he said looking me in the eyes. i looked everywhere but him.

"gus." i said almost inaudible.

"i'm unlovable." he said.

"gus don't say that." i said, now looking up at him. his eyes were closed and his breathing increased. i stayed silent after that and traced the tattoos that covered his arms.

i wanted so badly to love gus but i knew he was too toxic for me. i knew he would only hurt me rather than be good for me. he could be the sweetest person in the world at times, but others he could be your worst nightmare. that's the con of messing with someone so broken and so fucked up. last time i admitted my feelings for peep he laughed in my face and told me to get the fuck away from him.

i cherish time like this where he seems so vulnerable in my arms and i know he hates when he feels like this. he doesn't like feeling vulnerable or feeling at all for that matter. he likes feeling safe by keeping anything that could possibly hurt him away. it's what damaged people do. his soul is pure but his mind isn't.

after thinking for a while, i finally closed my eyes and drifted to sleep only to have a nightmare. i was alone in a black room with just one chair in the center. a spotlight turned on and there sat peep with a bandana covering his eyes. an arm reached out from the darkness with a loaded pistol and pulled the trigger. my ears rang and i let out a scream. i fell to the ground and wept.

"dani!" i heard someone yell my name.

"dani wake up." peep said shaking me.

"baby what's wrong." peep said wiping the tears and sweat from my face. i hugged him so tight and just cried as he held me.

he just held me and didn't say anything. i couldn't stop shaking and crying. he played with my hair and started singing to me. he knew i loved when he sang his songs to me.

"she's my fantasy, she only comes at night. she don't know 'bout me. she don't know what goes on inside."  peep sang softly.

"i'm sorry." i said.

"don't be sorry, just talk to me." he said. we now were looking at each other.

"i think i should leave." i said.

"please don't leave me dani." gus said. this all felt like deja vu. he pulled me down on the bed and grabbed me and just cuddled himself into me. at this moment he was so pure and beautiful. at this moment i could probably believe he loved me back.