Phan Oneshots

Drunk

Phil's POV

"I'll be back at twelve!" Dan shouted. "Ok, don't get too hammered!" I replied, and Dan laughed before taking off to go to a party.

*Narrator from Sponge Bob voice* Two hours later.

It's been two hours and I started to get worried. What if he took our (relatively) new car out, and drove it back home drunk, and got in a crash. Or maybe PJ took him out into the forest by his house and got lost. Or maybe... no... Dan wouldn't cheat on me. I thought to myself. He's loyal.

Just then, my phone puzzled, and I saw it was a text from "Baby Bear" and it read, "Heeuyyy Fillklly ::;:))" "Um, Dan, are you ok?" I texted back. Almost immediately he responded, "Yra, bow tat youure hear." "Dan, you're drunk, and I'm not actually there with you, you know?" "Awwe, whyy notttt" "because I don't like parties. I'm coming to pick you up. Don't do anything stupid." I got off the couch and walked out the door.

Once I got out of the flat, outside to my relief, was our car. I would not be happy if he took it out with him.

On the way there Dan kept texting me. He said things like, "Moo, I'm haaving a gteat tim ::::/))))" and "you're sily I not druk." I laughed at that last one, but I don't text back because I was driving.

I finally arrived at PJ's house, and I could hear screaming, music, and even people upstairs having 'fun.'

I braced myself before entering his house, seeing as I hate loud noises, loud people, and bright flashing lights. When I walked in, I saw multicolored lights, a dance floor, and a few yards from me was the kitchen. Dan was there, with a beer bottle in his hand, his eyes were only half open, and I could tell he was having trouble speaking.

"Daniel James Howell!" I shouted, a bit sternly, over the music, and he turned his head to me. "Philly!" He slurred, trying to run to me, nearly falling over. "Danmit Dan, you're drunk. Lets get you home." I took his hand in my and began to walk, but he didn't budge.

"Come on." I groaned. "No, I wanna s-stay he-re." he hiccuped, and started laughing. "For god's sake." I mumbled before just scooping him up and carrying him, bridal style, through the crowd. I took the bottle from his hand and put it on the counter before leaving.

"Look, the walls change color." he said in awe as he snuggled himself against me. "Yeah, that's because the lights change, making the walls look different colors." I said, as if speaking to a child, with a bit of annoyance in my voice as I carried him out the door.

"What happened to the lights?" He asked sadly as I closed the door behind us. "We're outside, you goof." I rolled my eyes. "Oh yeah." he slurred slightly, and started laughing uncontrollably. I chuckled with him as I set him in the car.

After a long, long, car ride with Dan, we finally got home, and I guided him to the flat. Everyone he'd pass he'd say hi to, or compliment, which sounds cute, and it kinda was, but when it's every. single. person. he. sees., it gets a bit annoying.

We finally made it to our home, and I guided him in, and locked the door. "Home! I missed you!" He yelled, still slurring, and tried to hug the wall. "Dan," I was going to say something, but then decided not to, and just sighed, "Yep."

I grabbed his waist, so he wouldn't fall over his own feet, and slowly helped him to his bedroom. "Here, sit down. Stay here." I demanded, raising my voice slightly. "You sound sexy when you do that." Dan wrapped his arms around my neck. "Ugh, thank you, but just sit down for now. I'm going to get you a glass of water." I pushed him off of me, and he fell into the bed. He giggled, "Ok Philly Willy. I love youuu." "I love you too." I laughed as I left, and locked his door from the outside. There was a lock from the inside too, but both of them had to be unlocked for the door to open.

I got him a glass of water, and came back to Dan's room. I unlocked it, and stepped in.

I chuckled slightly, after I closed the door, and saw a big lump under the duvet. "Where's Dan. I thought he was in here." I said aloud. From under the duvet I heard Dan giggle. I made some noises, playing with other things where he could be 'hiding', then I grabbed the duvet and threw it off of him. He shouted, "You found me!" And raised his hands in the air. "Yay! I thought you were lost." I played along, and sat him up. "Silly, I wasn't lost." he slurred, laughing.

"Ok, here, drink this. All of it. When you're done I'll give you a kiss." I handed him the glass, and he drank a sip. "Okaaayyyyy. I dooone." he tried to hand it back to me. "No, Bear, you need to drink all of it." "I like when you call me bear. It makes my heart feel funny." He giggled, then took another sip.
After we talked for a little while, he finally finished the water. "I'm all done! Do I get a kiss now?" "Yes, you can have a kiss." I leaned down and pecked his lips. "Aww, you tricked me! That wasn't a kiss!" "I'll give you another one when I get back. Stay here." "Promise?" "Promise." I smiled, and left to go put the glass away.

When I got into the kitchen, I saw some more bowls and such piled up in the sink, and decided to clean those too while I was here.

When I got back I realized I forgot to close the door, and I noticed Dan wasn't in there.

"Shit." I muttered under my breath, swiftly opening my bedroom door. In a lump of pillows and blankets, was a cute sleeping Dan, in my green hoodie, cuddled up against lion.

I did make him a promise. I thought, and walked over to the bed. As he slept, I gently attached my lips to his, and he smiled under the kiss.