Finding Jemima

Awkward reunions

JEMIMA

I hadn't slept on the plane, I was too nervous and uncomfortable. I sat picking at a sandwich but not actually eating any of it, eating had become harder again the last couple of months, but I told myself I had it under control this time. I let out a sigh and took a small bite of the sorry looking sandwich.  We had nearly arrived, so I started to gather my things together, the nerves were now overwhelming. I tried to calm my self down, I squeezed my hands tight digging my fingernails into my palms, clamping my eyes shut.
"you can do this" I muttered to myself "He's your brother, your safe now, this a new start, you can do this"
I'm not sure I had convinced my self, but the stewardess had appeared in front of me. "You ready sweetie" she chirped at me. Her over chirpy voice and what seemed to be a permanently fixed smile on her face was beginning to annoy me.  Was I ready? No, of course I wasn't ready, I wanted to get straight back on a plane and go back to cold wet England, fling myself into my boyfriend Felix's or best friend Peter's arms but that wasn't an option, so I simply nodded picked up my backpack and followed the chipper woman off the plane where she handed me over to an Australian woman who took me through passport checks and to baggage claim.  I waited for my bags then we went and sat on a bench at arrivals.

I scanned the airport, there were not many people around, everyone else who had been on my flight had disappeared, we had been the first flight of the morning to land, and it was early. I scanned the space again but I couldn't see anyone that resembled my big brother. The woman waiting with me was not as chirpy as the one on the plane, and you could see she was getting more and more aggravated at my brothers lateness. She didn't say much, every now and then she'd talk into her radio then flash me a small smile, I guess the smile was supposed to make me feel better, it didn't.  Suddenly I saw a tall figure sprinting across the forecourt, looking frantically around in all directions, as he got closer I could see he had bright fire engine red hair, hmm so he's got red hair now.  My own hair had red dyed tips, maybe this was good sign.  The woman stood up and called over to the figure.

"Mr Miller?" she enquired walking towards him
"Yeah....that's...me" he panted out of breath

I stayed sitting on the bench, fiddling with my sleeves and rolling my feet on the ground, trying to look like I was not listening to their conversation even though I clearly was trying to. They stood just out my ear shot as My brother signed some paperwork on the woman's clipboard, nodding at what she was saying looking over every now and then at me.  He caught my gaze a few times and I just looked down at my feet. They had finally finished and the woman waved goodbye.  Matty smiled a huge grin and started to jog over to me arms extended wide for an embrace that one is supposed to give a long lost relative.  "My little Jem" he shrilled.  I didn't stand I just looked over at him then back at the ground. As soon as he realised the embrace and enthusiasm wasn't going to be reciprocated back to him he quickly lowered his arms awkwardly and slowed his pace, A slightly hurt look on his face that he was obviously trying but failing to conceal as he ruffled his hair nervously. I stood up slowly, raised my hand and gave him a weak smile and rather pathetic little wave.

"hey Matthew" I awkwardly offered up in quiet little mouse like voice.

"You ok my little Jem?" He enquired, looking again slightly wounded that I had used his full name. I gave a slight Awkward nod "It's really good to see you little sis" he said in a more cautious voice this time putting his hand on my arm. I winced away from the touch, a small grimace on my face that I tried to control so he wouldn't see, I don't know if I succeeded, from the way Matty quickly whipped his hand away I guess I had failed to do so.  Steve had left me with a few parting gifts that I was trying my best to ignore, but after being stuck on a plane for so long my aching body was now sore and the slightest touch or little movement was killing me.

"Shall we go get your stuff?" Matty offered, I gestured towards the very small rather sorry looking baby pink suitcase with my little ponies scattered across it that looked like it belonged to a small child and a scruffy looking holdall which was laying next to the bench I was sitting at. "Is that it? where's the rest of your stuff? Your know your staying for longer than a week right?" He said in a slightly sarcastic cheeky way trying to lighten the awkwardness.

"It's all I was allowed to bring" I muttered quietly as I wheeled my case passed Matty dragging the holdall along behind me, my backpack still firmly placed on my back, and started to walk in the direction that Matty had appeared from, I presumed he had a car parked somewhere.  Matty grabbed hold of the holdall flinging it easily over his shoulder and took the case out of my hand pushing the handle down some could carry it.
"Allowed?" he asked confused scrunching up his eyebrows inquisitively.
At that moment, that one word said a million, I decided that he didn't know anything about my life back home, and ignored the sort of question, it wasn't the time or place.  So I just walked silently next to Matty looking at the floor, hoping he would drop the subject.  I wondered how long it would be before the conversation about my life back in England would eventually have to be addressed, how long did I have before the truth bombs started exploding around me, I hoped it wouldn't be for a while yet, maybe I could keep it all from him, did he really have to know anyway?

I looked tiny next to this tall figure who was walking through the airport with me, my height barely met his chest. My friend Peter said even though I was an early bloomer as he put it after I had hit puberty just after I turned eleven, the pitiful amount of food I ate had stunted my growth, maybe he was right, or maybe I was some kind of genetic throw back.  Maybe my dad was short, I couldn't remember, Matty clearly took after our tall mother, he looked even taller in real life than in the magazine pictures. As we walked through the airport I kept catching him looking at me and I would quickly revert my gaze back to the floor. The silence between us was deafening and uncomfortable. I wondered if anything else had changed about him other than his appearance, I felt like I was walking along with a complete stranger, walking to his car fighting the urge to scream stranger danger at this tall man that was taking me somewhere in his car. Matty walked along with what can only be described as a thinking face, I wondered what he was thinking, had I been what he'd expected, was he disappointed, was he happy I was here or was he doing this out of a sense of responsibility or guilt even, did he actually even want me here at all, he did seemed pleased when he finally actually got here.