Finding Jemima

Christmas day

JEMIMA

I was awoken on my first Christmas with the boys to five smiling faces crowded round me just sat there watching me sleep on the sofa, it freaked me out when I saw five pairs of eyes staring at me that close through my blurry tired half opened ones, that I screamed a death curdling scream jumping up kicking my legs.

"Jem, Jemima it's just us, it's just us" Matty grabbed my arms making me look at him. "Breath, breath jem" I took deep breaths trying to calm myself "fuck Jem we're sorry, we didn't mean to scare you!" Matty said pulling me into a strong hug when he saw I recognised him and had calmed down slightly.

"Sorry Matty, I'm sorry" I hyperventilated into his chest

"Hey who did you think it was!"

"F-f-f-Felix and a-a-a-nd..."

"Shit Sorry Jemima, you ok?" Matty said stroking my hair clearly feeling guilty. I nodded my head steadying my breathing back to normal.  Matty sat down on the sofa and sat me curled up on his lap. "Merry Christmas my little Jem, thank you for the present, I love them" he said to me lifting my mood instantly.

"Yeah someone was a busy little elf last night" Tom laughed, I gave them a wide toothy grin, feeling chuffed at my stealth ninja skills. Tom, Ed and Milo came and kissed the top of my head or pecked my cheek and said thank you, telling me they liked the presents. Max just sat there bouncing his knee staring at his hands not saying anything, maybe he hadn't listened to them yet, or maybe he had and I'd upset him.

"We got you something from all of us" Matty said, Tom presented me with a large box, I glanced at Matty unsurely. "Hey it's ok I promise, nothing bad." I opened the box slowly, inside was an acoustic guitar which was a bright glittery ruby red all over, reminding me of the shoes from the wizard of oz, a film my mum made Matty and I watch with her all the time when we were young, but it was shinny and smooth to the touch, on the reverse side all the boys had sighed it with a little message from each of them.

Let your inner song be heard for all to hear my little one, keep creating Doodle buddie, love Milo x

Your strength, love, bravery and resilience shine through your music, never stop shining, love Ed x

To my little sis, I hope there is never a day that I stop hearing you sing your soul, love you unconditionally your big brother Tom xxx

To my Emmy, your music is truly a window to your beautiful, brave and courageous soul, I look forward to walking hand in hand by your side as we discover the world together. Love always and forever your max X

My little Jem, let your music shine as brightly as your beautiful soul, music connects us when the world divided us, may it continue to anchor us together throughout our lives, sing loudly, sing proudly and let no one silence you ever again. love you so much my little Jem, never stopped, never will, Matty X

"Oh my god, I love it!" I gasped giving each of them a huge hug, I went to hug max but he didn't hug me back.

I went and got changed ready for my first Christmas with the boys, I decided to wear the 'my brothers are rock gods' T-shirt the boys got me for my birthday as I thought they would get a kick out of it and shorts, it felt strange being Christmas Day in blistering heat. Matty and I had decided to stay at the house while they boys visited their families, and they were coming back later to maybe go to the beach or just hang in the garden depending on what we felt like doing. Matty usually spent Christmas with Tom and his family but it was our first Christmas back together and I think he was craving some one on one time with me.  Matty wanted to keep the day as low key as possible for me which I appreciated. There was a knock at the door of the floral room and I called for whoever it was to come in.