Finding Jemima

Suspicious

MATTY

"I thought they were just friends?" I paced around the living room venting to the boys.

"I think they are Matty" Milo reassured

"He had his hands all over her!"

"Yeah but Matty, she let him touch her, no flinching, no cowering in a corner, nothing! Mate that's huge!" Tom observed.

"I guess" I said as I rubbed my hair while I was thinking "I still don't like the idea of him up there alone with her, not after everything that's happened"

"Understandable, but she seems to trust him" Ed reasoned

"She trusted Felix and look where that got her! I don't think she recognises when people are taking advantage boys."

"I suppose you've got a point, tell you what mate why don't you come in my room and play a game, we can leave the door open and then you can keep one eye on the situation eh, you can see into her room if both our doors are open, how does that sound?" Max sided with me a little. I followed max up the stairs, it was quiet upstairs as we passed Jems room and looked in on them through the open door. Jem was snuggled up to peter on the bed, both fast asleep already.

"See" max pointed into the room "nothing to worry about, both fully clothed, sound asleep and the doors open"

"I still don't like it, I told him to sleep on the floor!"

"Come on let's go have that game mate, we can figure out what's going on tomorrow ok"

We had been playing for a while when we heard the all too familiar sound of Jem waking up in a panicked state after another flashback or nightmare. We rushed into her room but stopped when we saw her sitting on peter lap, with him comforting her.

"I got this lads" he whispered across the room.

I went to step in the room and max placed a hand on my arm to stop me. I hesitantly retreated, and went to bed leaving my door open so I could attempt to listen in. Jem woke several times in the night but each time peter was there and Jem didn't need any of us. Before I knew it, it was morning. I strolled past Jem's room where she was still sleeping but was alone. I plodded downstairs where the rest of the boys were all gathered around the kitchen counter. Then I clocked peter pouring a coffee before he joined them and I glared at him as I also took a seat. The air was tense and everyone seemed a little uncomfortable.

"Soooo..." Peter broke the silence "the nightmares are back full blast I see?" He said taking a sip of coffee.

"What do you mean back?" I snapped at him

"Sorry I thought you guys had talked everything out. Em used to get them back in England when things were really bad you know with Steve and your mum and everything. I mean she'd get them all the time, but when she's bad like this, when she has several a night, there's usually a trigger point, so I'm presuming felix?"

"Oh...well some nights are better than others" Tom replied noting my awkwardness.

"Yeah, same as before then. Man she used to have really rough nights back then, especially after...."

"After what?.....hang on a minute how do you know how rough her nights were" I could feel my self getting tenser.

"Ummm Em used to stay round at mine all the time. She kind of bedhopped between me, Felix and..."

"Excuse me bedhopped!"

"I was going to say and Tammy, and not like that mate, calm down"

"Don't fucking tell me to calm down!" I clenched my fists "so you knew everything that was going on and you did nothing to stop it"

"Matty, come on mate, now is not the time, Ems just upstairs." Milo tried to calm me down

"Look mate, at least I was bloody there, where the fuck were you eh. Maybe you should ask yourself why Em didn't say anything huh, why she made us promise not to say anything!"

"What's that sopposed to mean" I was now standing next to peter in an aggressive stance as he rose to meet my angry gaze.

"You have no clue do you, how bad it got, why she kept her mouth shut all those years, your family completely fucked her up, you included!"

"I SWEAR you'd better shut the fuck up boy"

"Truth hurt does it Matty? YOU, you have a lot to bloody answer for, you and that fucking mother of yours! The fact she hasn't told you everything just goes to prove Em don't trust you!"

"Shut up about my mother! And Jem's told us everything."

"Everything huh? Right so you know about your drunk ass mother and what she did? you know how Em spent her thirteenth birthday do you? You know why your not...."

"PETER!" Jem stood in the doorway snapping loudly at peter.

"Sorry Em, shit sorry. I shouldn't have....I'm sorry it's not my place...I'm sorry...I just thought you'd told him everything...I thought you said you trusted them....I was obviously mistaken" peter shot me an icy stare at his last words.

"Peter stop talking ok, it's fine, but just stop" Jem comforted him.

"Jem what's he talking about?" I asked as calmly as possible, which wasn't very.

"Matty leave it ok, I'll talk to you later." Jem said pulling peter towards the patio doors out into the garden.

"No Jem, I thought we had been over everything, I thought..." I tried to reason.

"MATTY STOP!" Jem snapped loudly "maybe there are some things that are too painful, maybe there are things I don't want to tell you, maybe I don't know how to tell you, maybe I don't want to see the look in your eyes when I do...maybe....maybe...it's none of your god damn business!"

"Jemima we've been over this you can tell us...you can tell me anything."

"It's my life, my body, my memories, my pain, MY desition!"

"Well how come you can tell laughing boy over here and not me!"

"Because he was there Matty, he was there to pick up the bloody pieces, he didn't leave me, YOU did, YOUR choice, YOUR decision!" Jem angrily yelled at me before marching off into the garden Peter in tow.