Finding Jemima

Settling into new life

JEMIMA

Twelve weeks past and I was slowly settling into my new life.  I was getting to know Matty again as well as the boys.  I liked all the boys but Tom and I had struck up a particularly good friendship, and if Matty wasn't there he was the first one I went to.  It felt good not only having my brother back but having Tom as a back up safety net.  I was eating more and the boys had all learnt to let me eat off their plates or just offer me food at random points during the day rather than putting a giant meal in front of me and expecting me to eat it all in one go.  I still had good and bad days, but the boys were learning the warning signs and responded well, nights were hard since the meltdown, I had been having nightmares and often woke up screaming and crying uncontrollably.  The boys had observed how Matty was able to calm me down by holding me the way he had when I was young.  At first if one of the boys got to my room before Matty he would pry them off me and replace himself in their place but recently it had been left as whoever got there first was left to deal with me, I regularly woke up cradled in one of their arms. 

They had got me copies of all their music and had been letting me watch them practice, they said I was part of the band family now so had to at least know some of their songs.  I was yet to sing or play in front of them in spite of their constant badgering for me to do so. I had so far managed to keep them and any video footage of me performing separate. Their fans had learnt that I was now living with them and there was a wash of rumours circulating the internet, but so far the boys had managed to keep me pretty much out of the spot light.

I had learnt that Tom was the youngest at 17, making him the closest in age to me, which is perhaps why we got on so well.  He would turn 18 the week after my 16th birthday.  He played bass in the band and also sang a little.  He was a movie buff and we had a few movie nights in his room eating popcorn and staying up late talking about random stuff.

Ed was the tallest and oldest of the group he was 20 and was turning 21 soon. He played guitar and sang a little but not as much as the others, he had an older brother called George who I had met briefly a few times.  Ed liked reading and was my go to guy for help with English.  Sometimes when I couldn't sleep he would sit in my room and read to me, which was really sweet.  He was currently half way through reading his favourite sci fi novel to me.

Max was 18, but only just, his birthday had been just after new year not long before I had arrived and he was the hyperactive one. He was the drummer, and I called him "drumsticks" when he was being hyper or annoying.  He liked to chase me round and tickle me till I squealed, but I didn't mind as I realised that the fact I let him do this meant I was completely comfortable with him and that made me happy, I think it made him happy too.  When we watched TV I used to pin Max down with my feet on his lap to stop him fidgeting, he usually ended up drumming out a beat on my legs with his fingers which I didn't mind, I actually found it relaxing.  He wants to teach me to play drums.

Milo although he could be just as loud and rowdy as the others, was the quietest of the boys, he was 19. He played guitar and also sometimes the piano. He is the one to go to if you just wanted a little peace and quiet.   We would often sit on the patio swing at the front of the house and I would lay my head on his lap and he would play with my hair, or he would lay his head on my lap and I would wind his curly hair around my fingers. Sometimes we would sit in silence just looking at the sky or we would sit sketching and doodling together as we both liked to draw. I had learnt that he was responsible for the doodles on the front porch and he let me add a few of my own.

My brother was 19 nearly 20 and played guitar and was the lead singer in the band, the front man, very much the alpha Male of the group. When he was with the boys he was probably the loudest of them all and was definitely the instigator in many of their antics.  We talked a lot and would exchange stories about the time we weren't together trying to fill in the gaps, I still wasn't totally comfortable in telling him the details of my life back in England but would give him snippets or toned down PG versions of stories, I wasn't sure if he was aware I was doing this or not, he seemed to like listening to whatever I was telling him.  We were becoming close again and I was confident we would get back to level of closeness we once had eventually, I was beginning to trust him more with each day that passed. I still had major anxieties about him leaving again or sending me away, he'd picked up on this though and would regularly reassure me that he wasn't going anywhere.  He was constantly cuddling me, as if he was making up for lost time.

I had started easing into homeschool, and Sandra had helped Matty to research some online stuff and had ordered some curriculum work I could do.  I actually liked having something to occupy my mind with.  Tammy And Peter texted all the time wanting updates, Felix and I would Skype or FaceTime often, sometimes more than once a day, much to Matty's annoyance, he got particularly agitated if I took his calls or FaceTimes in private, but I missed him terribly so was prepared to receive the brother lecture just get a little alone time with him even if it was just down a phone screen, he had gone M.I.A for the last four days and I was beginning to get worried about him.  

It was my birthday tomorrow, and the boys were planning a family gathering, just with their parents and Ed's older brother George, they were keeping it low key as I had told them several times that I didn't want a fuss.  I eventually had to take Matty to one side and explain that birthdays back in England weren't a great time for me and usually involved some kind of beating from Steve, and I was never allowed presents or cake, My best friend peter would always make me one at his house though and sneak me small presents that I could easily hide from Steve. Once Matty understood this he must have told the boys and they stopped mentioning my upcoming sixteenth.

It was late afternoon and I sat at the kitchen counter doing some math work while the boys all hovered around doing I'm not sure what, occasionally looking over my shoulder to check my work and correcting my mistakes, maths was not my strong point.  My phone rang and it was Tammy, I answered rather confused as I was sure it was a funny time back in England, I still had not got used to the time zone difference.

"Hello?"

"Em it's me, look I've got something to tell you, but I don't want you to freak out."

"Freak out, why would I freak out, what's going on?" The boys all stopped their pottering to listen in.

"Look it's not my place to say, but you need to talk to Felix"

"Why is he ok, what happened, I haven't been able to get hold of him for four days." my panic was growing rapidly, was he hurt had something happened to him?

"He's been avoiding talking to you, but I've told him he has to do it today or I'm going to tell you everything, so just call him ok.  I'll ring back later" and with that she hung up without even saying goodbye.  I hurriedly scrolled through my contacts and hit Felix's number pacing up and down worriedly, no answer, so I rang again desperate to get through to him.  The boys all watched on intently in anticipation.

"Shit" I muttered hitting redial again "pick up come on you dope just pick up" I was muttering to myself while I continued to pace and chew my fingers.

"Hey Em" a timid voice eventually answered, after my ninth attempt of calling. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Felix what's going on? I've just had Tammy on the phone talking gobbledygook. Is everything ok?" I noticed the boys listening and watching, not even trying to hide it, they had all become VERY overprotective of me, understandably, especially Matty and he still didn't like the idea of me and Felix, so I rolled my eyes at them leaving to go upstairs to the floral room, side swiping a "private conversation boys" at them.