Finding Jemima

Bonding over midnight feasts

JEMIMA

I must have fallen asleep, as the next thing I knew I was woken up by the sound of male voices whispering. I think I recognised one of the voices as my brothers. "Matty is that you?" I called out still with my eyes shut. I opened my eyes and for a moment I completely forget where I was. I surveyed the room quickly and noticed the floral decorations and smiled. Ah yes I remember I'm at Matty's, I guess that's going to take some getting used to. I could see that it was now dark outside, but it was still boiling hot. I sat up on the bed and glanced over at the door, rubbing my eyes and yawning. I saw five smiley faces looking in at me.

"Hey there sleeping beauty" my brother chuckled at me. "We're going to sort some food out if you want to join us?" I smiled and simply nodded in reply.

"Midnight feast, YEAH!" I heard one of the boys screech followed by what sounded like a heard of elephants charging down the stairs. My brother laughed out loud "they really like food" he walked over to my bed and squatted down next to me. "How you doing kid?". Was this my moment, my window of opportunity to just blurt out nine years of everything he's missed. I opened my mouth to speak but stopped myself. I went with a simple shrug instead.

"Whenever your ready I'm right here, we got a lot to catch up on eh" he spoke softly giving me a weak awkward smile, he placed a gentle hand on my knee, I quickly shuffled further down the bed away from him nodding and wiped away a tear that had started to form. Not now not tonight, let's get the first night out of the way before we have to face the realty of our situation. I got up and walked down stairs to the kitchen with Matty. Chaos had consumed the kitchen with all four boys pulling food out of cupboards and the fridge, placing it in random miss matching bowls on the counter. I flinched away from them as they rushed past me in all directions, I sat on a stool and my brother sat opposite me watching me with great interest.

"We're not sure what you like Jem, so we're just getting everything out" milo explained.

"Actually it's Em not Jem" Tom chipped in. I smiled and mouthed a thank you his way.

The boys all started to tuck into food, it was mainly junk food, but hey they were eighteen or nineteen years old as far as I was aware so what did I expect. I didn't recognise half the food on the table, I bit my lip as I scanned the table nervously. Out of the corner of my eye I could see my brother still watching me closely, feeling the pressure of his stares I finally settled on a slice of dry bread, something chocolatey and a large looking strawberry. I sat picking at them placing tiny pieces into my mouth, I could feel Matty watching me eat, while the other boys sat shovelling food into their mouths like they hadn't eaten in weeks, I chuckled at the sight of them, I envied the freedom and lack of control they had with the food they were clearly enjoying. The boys started laughing and joking around telling stories, making Matty blush on purpose with embarrassing stories of failed stage dives and on stage mishaps. I sat silently listening offering the occasional smile at a funny anecdote.

"I take it you've heard our music Em?" Max threw a question my way with a mouth full of chicken. All the boys stopped laughing and looked at me waiting for my response.

"Ummm actually not really, I mean I've heard bits and pieces on the radio, I know one or two songs maybe, you were popular at my old school. But we weren't allowed to play your music in the house, Steve..." I trailed off realising I probably should have just left it at a simple no. I looked down at the counter at my half eaten slice of bread, picking at it again and eating some, praying that no one pushed the topic further.

"Steve What?...you didn't finish your sentence Jem" Matty spat out bitterly as if he knew what I was going to say but wanted confirmation. I physically tensed up at his harsh tone of voice.