My Heaven And My Hell

New Home New Beginnings12/16/2000

  Jenny's POV

It's December I'm finally moving into my new home. Charlie is ecstatic he finally has a room to himself. Lizzy has her room and a safe place for her dollies. There's a place for me to write a whole room. You can watch the sun rise from Windows in the breakfast nook. One of the rooms I'm sure was designed as a music room. I laugh at myself. I don't know why I thought I needed so much room. On the first floor has a kitchen dinning room, living room and den. There are four bedrooms plus my small office and music room on the second floor, two bedrooms on the third and an attic. It's the house of my dreams, now all I need is a mate to share it with. I haven't seen Nikki in a couple weeks. He's called a couple times, but it's not the same as being able to touch him. I miss him so much. I sigh realizing I've been standing here staring out my kitchen window lost in thought this isn't getting anything done. I return to unpacking.
  "Anyone home?" It's Nikki. My kids beat me to the door. I approach laughing Lizzy is hugging his leg. I can't wait to feel him. I hurry the last few steps and wrap my arms around him. He kisses the top of my head as he gives me a squeeze. Lizzy starts jumping up and down.
  "Daddy Nikki show room, show room." Nikki looks at me quizically. I shrug my shoulders.
  "That just want she's decided to call you." He looks adoringly at her.
  "Alright but I got something for you first." He pulls a doll out of the bag at his feet it's wearing a kimono. Lizzy eyes grow big as she takes it gently out of his hand.
  "Tank you." She hugs him. He pulls a Godzilla figure out next and hands it to Charlie.
  "So Cool." It takes a moment but he remembers. "Thank you." Lizzy grabs his hand.
"Alright the grand tour." He follows them to be shown around. I follow slowly watching their excitement. He gets to what I now consider to be the music room.
  "You bought a baby grand." He laughs as he hits a few keys. "Do you know how to play?"
  "Some" I laugh. "It does look nice in here I was learning to play the harp. I think I might pick it back up again."
  "I didn't know you like to play music."
  "Love it, just not very good at it." I grin sheepishly.
"I think you can do anything you put your mind to." He pulls me close for a kiss. The giggling reminding us we have an audience.
  "Why don't you two go finish unpacking your rooms." They take off running. "Walk you two! I'll help with anything you can't handle later."
  "Where's little Mary? He asks.
  "Asleep in my room."
  "Ah she doesn't have her own room." He says teasing me.
  "She does right next to me. I'm just not ready for her to leave my room yet." I shrug my shoulders.
  "Jenny can we talk somewhere we can't be over heard." He whispers becoming serious.
  "Here is fine." I close the french doors to the music room and slowly turn to face him wondering if I'm about to have my heart broken.
  "I can't leave my wife right now not while she's pregnant. She's so close to her do date." He pauses for a moment.
  "Nikki I never asked you leave your wife." I sit on the piano bench. "Not because of me. If it's not working between the two of you, but not because of me." He scoots me over to sit next to me.
  "I can be kinda arrogant sometimes." He chuckles. "I know you have never asked I just assumed that's what you'd want. Don't you love me? Don't you want me?" He hangs his head.
  "Yes I love you. I want you so much." I hug him close.
  "Jenny don't send me away. I'm so confused right now. Donna changes from day to day. The band is fucked up. I'm fucked up. You're the only stable person I know." He holds me tight.
  "Sad since I have horrible anxiety." He laughs softly at my sarcasm. "You know what you're asking of me don't you." I lower my eyes.
  "Yes, I'm sorry Jenny. I won't give you up." He tips my head so he can look into my eyes. I'm lost in those eyes. I reach into my pocket and pull out a set of keys and slip them into his hand.
  "No strings attached you come and go as you please, till the day you come back to me unattached." I brush my lips against his in a tender kiss.