My Heaven And My Hell

Home at Last at least for one 4/18/05

Jenny's POV

After three more long weeks of having morning sickness on the road I'm home. My place of refuge where my family dwells. I hear the sounds of my children at play. The familiar sounds and scents of home sweet home. Before I even get to enjoy it my mother stands before me hands on hips. I feel like a child again. 

  "What have you been up to" she cries. She rushes to me and enfolds me in her arms. The tears fall.

  "I'm ok Mama." I try to reassure her. She holds on a little longer then lets go. Taking a seat at the table. She looks at me expectantly.

"Well tell me about my new grand-babies. Who's the father? when are they do? All the facts." She sighs and gives a dramatic flourish of her hand. I groan I'm getting the look.

 "Nikki." I whisper.  "November 13 the doctor said it could be earlier with twins." My mother sighs again.

"I knew it would be. You've carried a flame for him for a long time. I just wish he would do right by you. After what you went through before in your marriage you deserve happiness."

"Mama I don't want to talk about that." I cringe.

"Maybe you need to, does he know that your nightmares aren't always just about your husband's death." She presses. "Now what Cindy did.

"Mama please I'm tired and there are things he doesn't need to know." I groan.

"Ok I'm sorry I won't push to make you talk about it, but you deserve so much better."

"Thank you Mama. I'm gonna go rest now" I get up and head to the stairs.

  "Will we be expecting Mr Sixx to visit soon?" She asks.

"I really don't know Mama." I answer quietly and continue up the stairs. I want to hug my kids then maybe a nap.

Nikki's POV   

  Laying awake and alone in a hotel room in New Orleans. Damn I miss her already. I groan and and roll to my back. I can't stop my mind, it's chaos in there. Thoughts of my kids, Jenny, and Donna. Guilt is eating at me. I'd promised Donna she was gonna be my only one when I went back to her and I broke it. Not getting along made it easier but it didn't make it right. Giving up on sleep I sit up, grab a smoke out of the pack sitting on the bedside table and lite up. Twins damn, fuck want if Donna is pregnant. I never do anything half ass even if it's destructive. I take another drag trying to relax. I'd stayed away from Jenny for years. It had been hard when every accidental touch made me want her. After I found out about her fall off the wagon it just gave me an opportunity to get close again. Then her book signing tour coinciding with Motley hitting the road. I just couldn't resist the temptation. The woman just makes life so much more fun and enjoyable. The stocker happening though was not how I pictured our reunion. It all seems so unreal now. I chuckle as I remember Kovac's irritation when Jenny's pregnancy hit the gossip rags. He may bitch but he likes the challenge. I don't know if I should be pissed or relieved he was named as the father. No immediate fight with the wife anyway. She had actually called to congratulate Allen and Jenny and to rub it in my face. She apologized to me for listening to rumors. I laughed after I hung up. Didn't she just read what she thought was the truth from a gossip mag. Fuck I'm tired I put the cigarette out and lay back down. I shouldn't be so mean I am the one in the wrong here. She is very happy about the tour, well the paycheck mainly.

Jenny's POV

   I'm so scared I can hear him coming. My stomach is big and I can feel my babies move. I try to get up and run, but I feel so weak. I crawl along the ground instead. He overtakes me easily and stands towering over me. I look up his eyes are white, blood drips from his head wound. I roll and curl up trying to protect my belly. He raises his foot to stomp.  I try to scream, but nothing comes out. I wake tears and sweat staining my face. Reaching out all I find is an empty bed.

   "Nikki." I wimper. The nightmares have returned with a vengeance. I try to pull myself together my lover is a busy man he isn't here to coddle me like a baby.