My Heaven And My Hell

What If

  Nikki's POV

     I find Jenny sitting in the water letting the waves wash over her. Her eyes are red from crying. I have an idea at what happened but I didn't expect such a break down. I didn't mean to hurt her.  

     "Jenny." I say softly as I get down next to her and pull her close. She rest her head against my chest. She's so strong and so soft at the same time. I move us out of the cold water she shivers so I wrap my shirt around her.

    "What if that would have been Ryan or Frankie? They love their mother and I don't want to cause them hurt." She groans.

     Well fuck I hadn't thought of that I just got caught up in the moment having her so close to me. This isn't about her she's worried for the kids. Why am I not surprised. I rub her back I'm kinda at a loss for words.

    "Are you are alright Momma?" Mary asks.  We turn to find our spawn has found us. I pull away allowing the kids to hug their Momma. 

     "Yes." She smiles. "You know what I think."

     "What?" they all ask.

     "I think it's time for breakfast." She says.

     "Why you both wet?" Elisa asks with a funny look.

     "I fell and your father had to save me." She answers and bats her lashes. "He's my knight in tarnished armor.

     "Oh so funny." I chuckle.

     "I know I'm hilarious." She grins.

     "Isn't it supposed to be shining armor." Storm asks.

      "Your father is still working on cleaning and polishing his armor." Jenny quips. I just roll my eyes.

  Once back at the house the kids head to the kitchen. Jenny told them to get things out while she went to shower and then she would make breakfast.

  I start to follow Jenny upstairs. She spins around.

      "Where do you think you are going? She asks tapping her nails on the rail.  

      "With you." I smirk.

      "No you're not." She corrects.

     "But my bag is in your room." I shrug.

    "Wait just a minute." She goes to her room and comes back with my bag. She precedes to throw it at me.

   "Ok I get it I use the downstairs bath." I sigh. "It was worth a try." She turns and disappears out of sight.

    Fuck when did she get so difficult.

    After my shower I stroll into the kitchen I watch for a minute as she starts breakfast delegating the easy things to the kids. She keeps the older kids busy and She's going all out eggs, bacon, the works. She turns and points at the silverware drawer.

      "You could help the little ones set the table." She says. "Keep your hands busy." She mumbles and glares.  When I finish I find my chair figuring I should give her her space. Her mood swings are giving me a headache. I could get this treatment at home. I reach for the paper that sits near me and grumble. I glance up to see Jenny placing a cup of coffee in front of me. I see the cream is already there. She had also put the paper there for me too. I groan at my uncharitable thoughts she is the only woman I know of who can be sweet and bitchy at the same time. The kids help bring everything to the table. She serves the little ones before she sits down to help herself.

    "Do you want more coffee?" She asks softly.

    "I can get it you go ahead and eat." I chuckle just like that she's over it.

    Our relationship was so easy before. Why is it so much more difficult this time.