My Heaven And My Hell

I Need You...11/21/2000

Author note: warning upcoming sexual content...

I call you when I need you, my heart's on fire
You come to me, come to me wild and wired
Oh, you come to me, give me everything I need

Give me a life time of promises and a world of dreams
Speak the language of love like you know what it means
Mm, and it can't be wrong, take my heart and make it strong, babe
-Tina Turner (The Best)

Back in California I stand at my front door my bag at my feet. I pause looking at the dark windows. Not much of a warm welcome I fish out my keys and try to unlock the door it's not working. Damn it I know this is the right key. I groan in frustration she changed the locks.
"What the fuck Donna?" Raising my voice. A light goes on in our bedroom window. She looks out sees me and disappears. The light goes out. "Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!" now I'm pissed I pull out my cell to call our house phone. There's a notification I have a voice mail. I dial to listen I hear Jenny's soft voice.
"Nikki I'm sorry I didn't answer your calls. Please come to me. I need you." She pauses for a moment. "I love you." The message ends. I take one last look at the bedroom window and race to my jeep. Throwing my bag inside I climb in. I Start up the engine and pull out of my drive.

Once I reach her apartment I see a soft light glowing in the window. I just can't wait to see her I rush to door and slide the key home it turns with a click. I step quietly through the door shutting and locking it silently behind me. Looking up I see her standing in her bedroom door. Her eyes are wide even with so much she has been through she's still so innocent. She doesn't say a word. She bites her bottom lip as she watches me come closer. Then like she can't wait any longer she rushes into my waiting arms. Holding her tight I know right at this moment even with all the things going wrong. Life is good. I lift her in my arms and she wraps her arms and legs around me. I capture her lips with mine. She is so passionate matching me kiss for kiss. Deepening our kiss I gently press for her to part her lips for me. I know she has issues with this any time I ask she changes the subject. So I'm gentle as I tease her tongue encouraging her to taste and play. Feeling I've pressed her far enough I nip her bottom lip and move to her neck giving light kisses and nips. She moans sweetly. Sitting her on her bed I quickly pull off her nightshirt she was naked underneath. She helps me off with my shirt and runs her hands down my chest making me quiver. I pull her close in another kiss as I swiftly maneuver her onto her back. Cradling me between her thighs I feel her slip her hands down and unfasten my pants. She pushes them down around my hips freeing my dick. God I can't wait a low moan escaping both our lips as I push deep inside of her. She feels so good I pull almost free and plunge deep again. I feel her move with me meeting each of my thrusts with total abandon her moans so low and soft only I can hear. Her body begins to tense and she clings to me holding me deep inside of her body shaking. Soon as she loosens her hold I continue to thrust her whimpers and shaking body sending me over the edge. Groaning I find my own release and I collapse on top of her. She tangles her fingers in my hair.
"I missed you." She whispers
"I missed you too." I guess that's the closest we're gonna get to I love you right now. I've heard her say it once I can wait to hear it again. I know one thing no matter what happens between me and Donna. I'm not giving Jenny up. I guess that makes me a selfish asshole. I sigh and close my eyes.

I play with his hair as he rests on my chest.
"Nikki"
"Mmm" he answers sleepily.
"We need to talk about something." I feel like chickening out.
"What baby?" He yawns trying to stay awake. Not one to play games I just spit it out.
"I'm pregnant." I say softly. He lifts his head to look me in the eyes. He doesn't say anything at first he just rolls us so I'm on top.
"How far along are you?"
"Not quite eight weeks." I answer quietly.
"The first time we had sex." He sighs
"Yes" I agree. He goes silent again. I find the tattoos on his arm very interesting, I'm afraid to look him in the eyes. God what if he thinks I did it on purpose just trying to profit. I don't need his money. My first book is doing well. My second has already been sent to my editor. I feel his fingertips on my face as he gently lifts my head to look at him.
"Jenny don't stress we will figure this out I promise." He kisses me softly. "When is the baby due?"
"At the end of June."
"We'll talk more tomorrow. I need sleep." He cuddles me and takes a deep breath. I close my eyes and listen to his heart and the sound of his breathing and fall asleep.