My Heaven And My Hell

I need to touch 1/26/2005

Nikki's POV

Kovac has called us to a meeting. I walk through an empty lobby I guess I'm the first one here. Taking the elevator I wonder what this is all about. The elevator doors slides open and I head to Kovac's office. The door is cracked open. I hear a female voice I recognize it's Jenny. I open the door slowly. They sit close together deep in discussion. Kovac has his arm casually around her as they talk shop about the book cover of her new novel The Gentleman caller. They have several pictures laid across his desk. I shouldn't but I feel a sharp stab of jealousy. Before I act on it I remind myself I'm married and gave up any right to act the jilted lover years ago. She can do as she pleases.

Jenny looks up and smiles. She jumps up and grabs my hand excitedly. I laugh as I let her drag me to the desk.

"I value your opinion which one do you like best?" She asks

As I look through the pictures I can't help it I rest my hand on her shoulder and let it slide down her arm. I feel her shiver. Gently I pull her close to my side and hear a quiet sigh. I can smell her clean scent and a hint of vanilla as I lean closer to examine two pictures that have caught my eye. My hand strays to her hip.

I finally point one out. It's a man and woman dressed in formal wear. They wear masquerade masks. She has a sweet smile as the man holds out a rose as a gift. He holds a knife behind his back.

"This one" I answer.

"Me too, but I might be a little partial. I took that photo." She keeps her eyes lowered as her finger tips caress my back.

"I like it" I say. There are other things I could have said about it. The light the shadows. But the blood had just rushed from my brain to my dick.

Kovac clears his throut to gain our attention. I reluctantly release Jenny as the rest of my bandmates finally show.

"I guess that's one." He says and stacks the rest of the pictures into a neat pile on his desk. He stands comes around kisses Jenny on the cheek and squeezes her hand.

"I'll be done here soon I'll meet you down in the lobby." He says to Jenny.

She greets everyone before she leaves.

"Oh here Mick." Jenny pulls a book out of her book bag. It's his book she signed for him. She hugs him and then disappears out the door.

"Check it out." She doesn't autograph a lot of books. I laugh I didn't know Mick liked to read so much.

It didn't take long for Allen to go through what he wanted to talk about the up coming tour. I was wondering why he couldn't have done this over the phone.

I hang back and turn back to Allen.

"I know it's probably not my business. But are ya know." I sigh. "Are you and Jenny dating?"

"You are right it's none of your business." He smirks. "But no Nikki We're not. I don't have a thing for emotionally unavailable women."

What do you mean Emotionally unavailable?" I ask.

"For such a smart guy you can be really daft sometimes." He laughs as he leaves.

Jenny's POV

I'm with Allen after he finished his short meeting with the Crue he asked me out to lunch. We are waiting for our table. In come the boys with significant others in tow I groan hell is now on earth. Of course the quiet lunch I thought to enjoy with my friend has become a social event. I love Allen he is slowly becoming a good friend. The gossip mags already have us dating. I'm used to it any man I'm seen with I'm automatically dating or having an illicit affair with. You know I'm the whore who almost destroyed Nikki's and Donna's marriage. Everone has ordered and the conversation is livily amongst the other ladies. I always feel awkward they gossip and talk about makeup and fashion. I understand these things but makeup and clothing are only a minor part of life to me.

"When will your next book hit the shelves Jenny?" Nikki asks breaking into the conversation. Just great I was trying to play invisible. Mrs Sixx gives me a death look. She has every right to hate me as long as she doesn't get between my kids and Nikki all is well between us. I look down giving her her illusions of dominance.

"In two months most likely." I answer and smile.

"Come on no set date." He smirks. His hand has come to rests on my thigh under the table.

"No not yet." I say as I try to move his hand, but I can't unless I want to make a scene.

My silverware is looking very interesting as he gently strokes my inner thigh.

Lunch is finally served to my relief. As we eat he continues to brush his leg occasionally against mine. Damn he knows what he's doing. I'm trying so hard to remain calm. He has to realize what a mess he's making out of me. I haven't been with anyone since him. I tried to date, but it never went anywhere.

I've finished eating and I'm trying to concentrate on the conversation Allen and the guys are having, when Nikki's hand finds my thigh again.

"Excuse me I'll be right back." I tell Allen as I jump up and try to exit gracefully.

I go to the lady's room and rest a moment. Damn I'm so wet and he's being such an ass. His wife is right next to him. How can she not have noticed? I settle myself and walk back to our table.

"Allen I'm not feeling well can we go?" I ask my eyes down cast.

"Yes of course Jenny." He answers.

We say our goodbyes as I leave I hear Donna snicker.

"She's probably knocked up again." She quips.

Once I'm back at my house I say an apologetic goodbye to Allen. I rush inside close the door and race upstairs to my bedroom. Slamming the door behind me I collapse on the bed in sexual frustration.

I'd finally managed to close off that particular need.

"Why now Nikki?" I moan against my pillow.

I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made

But when you touch me like this (Touch me like this)
And you hold me like that (Hold you like that)
I just have to admit that it's all coming back to me - Meatloaf