My Heaven And My Hell

Tattoos And Soft Touches

Nikki's POV

I pull my jeans on and rest on the couch. Closing my eyes I wait for Jenny to come back. I hear her coming and I open my eyes and watch her. She is beautiful to me black long hair, big dark brown eyes. She's petite 5'3 maybe 120 pounds. She's naked from the waist up showing off small breasts heavy with milk, her jeans are loose and ride low on her hips showing the signs of her pregnancies on her tummy. I sigh as she softly touches my shoulder. She smiles as she sits near me her baby nestled against her breast.
"You're beautiful" I Whisper. She rolls her eyes and blushes.
"No I'm not and I still have weight to loose."
"Don't say that about yourself. " I pull her gently onto my lap and nuzzle her neck. "And don't be loosing so much you look like a toothpick." She laughs as she pulls away and places little Mary in her playpen. As soon as she close to me I pull her close again. Running my fingers over bare skin I study her tattoos. I reach her back there's a rose and a cross you have to look close to see the initials CLM and the dates 5/13/68-5/31/98. A rosevine is inked across her back in the blooming buds are her children's names and birthdates. I look close and see small initials hidden in the blooming buds. Their father's initials. You can find her birthday. There are pictures and symbols. It's her life in tattoos. She wears her scars for everone see. I smirk that would make a great lyric. I notice the vine extends up the back of her neck. I go to push her hair aside and she tenses up. She tries to push me away. I just hold her tight and lift her hair. There's a tiny little unopened bud. It just reads Baby 87 with initials NS. I feel sick and sad.
"Why didn't you call me?" I kiss the small tattoo.
"There wasn't anything to tell Nikki. The baby was gone before I even knew it was there. I turn her to face me.
"What happened? You have three healthy kids now. What went wrong?" I see tears in her eyes.
"It was the first day after fall break. I was always teased and bullied. I was tripped and I fell down the stairs." I pull her close I don't know what to say. I feel helpless that I wasn't there for her. There's something else on my mind I used a condom this time, but totally blew it off the first time. She was so freaked out and then we kissed. I just didn't think about it.

Jenny's POV

I push away from Nikki and dry my eyes. I have better things to do then weep like a baby. I touch his chin with my fingertips and feel the beginnings of a five o clock shadow. As I run my hands down his chest I'm thinking maybe a round two. Looking into his eyes I sigh he looks pensive as he takes my hands and holds them. I have had many years to deal with that particular loss he just found out. I honestly had figured he just really didn't need to know.
"Please don't over think it Nikki, the what ifs well drive you nuts. Is something else on your mind?" He lowers his eyes and gives me a smirk.
"No nothing else important." I don't pry I'm afraid he might be thinking of his wife. I can't handle that. I feel the guilt creeping in. I decide it's a good time to see if Mary is hungry.