My Heaven And My Hell

No More Hiding

Nikki's POV

   I'm home the house is silent. I check on the kids before heading to my room Donna is awake and glances up at me as I enter.

    "Where have you been?" She asks as I settle on the bed next to her. I'm running everything through my mind but no matter how I put it. This is probably the end of my marriage. So I just start by being honest.
 
   "I was at the hospital." I answer running my hand through my hair. "Jenny gave birth today." I pause and wait.

  "The baby is yours?" She asks her eyes narrow.

   "Yes." I answer simply.

   "I fucking knew it. You fucking prick." She's angry now rightfully so. "This is worse then the drummer. She's a woman with children. You moved in with her didn't you? She's someone you could love." She hit my chest. I don't try to defend myself. I knew what I was doing. I just don't want Jenny and the children to suffer for it. "Wait the way Gunner was acting today. The kids knew." She starts to cry the feelings of betrayal breaking her heart.

   "Don't be mad at them Donna please. They are all just children and tbeir friends." I whisper. I hear her moan. I reach for her and hold her. She trys to pull away, but I won't let go.

  "Do you love her? She asks. I don't want to cause her anymore pain.

  "I care for her. She's a gentle woman." I answer softly. "But I know I love the little girl she just gave birth to." I listen as Donna begins to cry harder.

   "What about Frankie and me?" She moans

   "You know I love you both." I say.

   "Then why Nikki?" She asks.

   "I really thought we were over." I sigh. "That you had called it quits."

   "What are you gonna do about the baby?" She asks as she touches my arm.

   "My name is on the birth certificate. Jenny is ok with me seeing her. So I'm gonna be her Dad." I state matter of a factly. "I just need to know what you're going to do. I'll go sleep in the den if you need time and space." I begin to ease away.

   "No don't go. Stay with me." She says quietly. "I know if I try to make you choose between me and your daughter I'll loose. I don't need time to realize that."

   I know no matter what I do I'm going to hurt people I love. I listen as Donna cries herself out. Once I know she is sleeping deeply I pull her into my arms and try to sleep too.

Jenny's POV

  I didn't know he would want her or love her so much. I just thought it be easier if he stayed away. I would never dream of keeping them apart. It's just that I thought he would just move on. Isn't that what most married men would do. It's going to be so hard to be near him and not be able to touch like I want to. I'm in love and it hurts. I miss Mary and she's not taking being away from me very well. I'm getting a lot of pressure to wean her. But this not her fault and she's not ready. I won't force her. She will when she's ready. My mind goes back Nikki and I whimper. Elisa begins to cry saving me from my depression.. I pull her close to nurse. She latches on and my sad thoughts are forgotten for awhile as I care for my newborn.