My Heaven And My Hell

Lover's Light

Nikki's POV

  Spent the morning writing lyrics and music on an acoustic guitar in Jenny's music room. The view from that room's Windows are beautiful. The ocean waves crashing against the beach. I can see why she chose this house and location. I left the doors open and I could hear her in the next room working on her next book her finger tapping on the desk. I take a break and go see how she's doing. She sits focused on the screen the window is open so she can hear her kids outside playing. I feel kinda envious that she can work so much from home. Turning she sees me at the door and smiles
      "You have go, don't you.?" She asks quietly.
      "Yes, I have to go talk to Donna." She gets up and walks slowly to me. She hugs me tightly burying her head against my chest for a moment then turns me loose. I kiss her softly before I leave.

      I'm on my way back to the house. Thinking about Jenny's last embrace was she saying goodbye. she didn't always speak. She sometimes expressed herself physically, damn it woman. Damn the drive seems way to short from this direction I sigh.

I enter the house and quietly close the door behind me. Walking in the livingroom I find Donna lying on the couch intently reading a gossip mag.
   "Why do you read that shit?" I ask.
   "I have to keep up with you somehow." She quips. "Did you see your new lady friend has a thing for a certain bass player." She smirks. I cringe a little. She flips to a page showing Jenny in a lip lock with some chick. She eyes me trying to gauge my reaction. I laugh.
    "Who is she?
    "I don't know. Just someone from an all girl band." She mumbles losing interest now that she didn't get a rise out of me.
    "You might want to talk to the school." She turns the page. There sits Gunner, Decker, Ryan, and Charlie flipping off the camera. "Such wonderful parenting." She scuffs.
    "One of those kids is biologically yours." I smirk. She gives me a dirty look. "I don't like that paparazzi got so close to the children I'll call tomorrow."

  "Now why am I here?" I ask. I was kind of enjoying our separation I couldn't help thinking. She looks at me about to say something when Frankie starts to cry. I watch as she leaves the room. God I feel like she has me by the balls.
    "Fuck." I groan running my hand through my hair. She comes back and lays the baby in my arms.
    "I think we need to try to work this, our relationship out for the baby." She says in a rush. I just concentrate on Frankie trying to control my expression. She's giving me whiplash two weeks ago she had said it was over. I can't keep Jenny hanging on like this. I have to make a decision soon. I look at Frankie.
   "I love you so much." I whisper. "I know your right." I speak so Donna can hear me.

   I sit in my car outside Jenny's home. I need to tell her. But I know if I go in tonight I'll break and stay. I'll call her tomorrow and meet her somewhere. I watch as the lights go out room by room. The light she always leaves on for me finally goes out and my heart sinks. Somehow she already knows.

Jenny's POV

  The kids are in bed asleep I walk the house checking windows and doors. I begin to turn off the lights one by one. Reaching the lamp I leave on for Nikki I pause. We always left a light on when we waited for a family member to come home when I was young. There's a superstition that goes with it. Something about a guiding light for a lost Lover. I smile sadly and click it off. I walk slowly up the stairs and I crawl into bed alone. Pulling his pillow to my chest I silently cry myself  to sleep.