My Heaven And My Hell

Please Tell Me 3/25/05

Nikki's POV

   Jenny hasn't really spoken to me in a week just brief moments when she feels she has no choice. I would rather she yell at me if she's pissed. The silent treatment is killing me. The worst thing is I've seen Kovac leaving Jenny's room early in the morning. I don't know what to think or feel. Has she finally given up me. I'm so used to just go through the motions, I didn't think how Jenny would feel. I guess knowing that I'm sleeping with my wife and having it shoved in her face are two very different things.

  Entering the hotel restaurant I see Jenny and Allen having breakfast. Making my way quietly towards the table I hope for a chance to talk with her. But she sees me coming and excuses herself and disappears. 

    I stand looking at Kovac.

   "Have a seat Nikki." He says taking a sip of coffee. "What's on your mind."

  "Why are you fucking staying in Jenny's room?" I say low. He smirks.

  "I wish, But no. Jenny isn't shagging me to spite you." He answers with a hint of sarcasm. Nikki Her doctor is pulling her
epilepsy medication. He didn't want her alone until he knows how she will react without it."

    "I could do that why didn't she ask me?" I blurt out. "Why is he pulling her epilepsy meds. Isn't it risky with her under so much stress? What's going on Allen?"

  "That's not for me to say." He answers.

  "If something is wrong I want to know." I press.

   "Ask Jenny." He answers calmly.

  "I would if she would talk to me." I plead.

    I feel pathetic like a puppy who's been sent to the cold cold dog house. I sigh.

  "Oh for Christ's sake Sixx." He relents "She went back to her room." He hands over the key card to her room. "You have an hour before we leave for her appointment."

   "What appointment?" I ask cocking my head.

   "Ask Jenny." He answers and goes back to reading his newspaper dismissing me.

  I hesitate for a moment outside her door before I unlock and open it slowly. She's curled up asleep. Crawling into bed next to her I gently touch her cheek.

    "Jenny." I whisper. She opens her eyes and gazes sleepily at me.

    "Nikki." She sighs and cuddles up to my chest. Don't mind if I do. I kiss the top of her head, half asleep Jenny is always all sweetness. I pull her tight against me and enjoy the moment. 
"Please tell me wants wrong?" I whisper. She whimpers against my chest, so I stroke her hair softly. Glancing at the nightstand I notice a vitamin bottle which wouldn't have been a big deal but they are prenatals. I groan she's been sick. Her doctor is pulling her off medications. She's pregnant. Just like that I'm pissed. My mind jumps to certain conclusions after what had just occurred with Donna. She did it on purpose.  I'm out of the bed my fists clinched.

     "What were you thinking." I yell. I see her cringe as if waiting for a blow. I'm to angry to care. "Well I'm fucking waiting for an answer." My voice icy. She panics and scoots off the bed. She darts passed me and out the door. I follow her and see her disappear down the stairs. I stomp to my room to be alone.

   I'm in my room for less then twenty minutes when I hear someone pounding on my door.

      "What do you want?" I growl as I open my door. It's Allen if looks could kill I'd be dead. I'm not in the mood so I prepare to slam the door in his face.

   "I thought you could handle this like an adult. I guess I was wrong" He says coldly. "Well you might not have to worry about another child."

     He turns to leave.  A cold wave of fear washes over.

      "What happened?" I ask fearful about his answer. He turns to me and glares.

      "Jenny slipped down the stairs running from you." He says. "She's in an ambulance on her way to the hospital."

      "Kovac where? Which hospital?"

       "I'm going right now. I guess I can tolerate your company." He spins around takes off in a ground eating stride.

   Allen isn't talking to me. I don't blame him. I just keep thinking oh my god what have I done.

Jenny's POV

  Oh god I hurt, not my stomach not yet. But the fear I feel won't go away. I've never had trouble conceiving or carrying, except when I fell. I remember the emotional and physical pain of losing my first baby. Please god no I beg silently. I know I shouldn't be pregnant by a married man, but my heart doesn't care.