My Heaven And My Hell

Secrets And Truths 3/20/05

Nikki's POV

It's been a week and Donna is still trying to convince me to have another child. A baby isn't going to fix our marriage. Ryan and Frankie already suffer because of our fighting. I don't want to cause another child that kinda pain. I've tried to do the right thing. I walked away from Jenny for her. I Chose her. Stayed faithful to her since then. Well until recently I sigh.

Thank god Allen has been booking Jenny's rooms far away from me and Donna's. I'm glad for it. Donna likes to make sure Jenny knows we're having sex. I think this is the most sex we've had in awhile. She's doing it to lay claim and to rub it Jenny's face, see I won. Why do I let her. I don't know maybe just to keep the peace. It's just a fuck to me now. I've given up trying to make love.

It's time to get out of bed as I'm rolling out. I notice a used condom wrapper. Picking it up to toss it in the trash I stop and take a closer look. Something has been bothering me. Her complete willingness for one. When I look really close I see a tiny pin hole. She's been sabotaging the condoms. I'm beyond pissed I dress quickly and slam the door as I leave. I know if I stay I might do bodily harm. I'm making my way down the hall when I see Kovac coming out of Jenny's room he looks pissed and glares at me. Well fuck what did I do to him. I'm not in the mood for confrontation with him. I head down the stairs instead of using the elevator.

Allen's POV

I just left Jenny in her room and who do I see my least favorite person right now Nikki Fucking Sixx. I'd just spent thirty minutes attempting to console his young lover until She had finally cried herself to sleep. She's pregnant and afraid to tell him. I watch him take the stairs to avoid me. He looks as pissed as me. I guess he's fighting again with his wife. I'm having trouble feeling pity for him right at this moment. Logically I know he didn't do it on purpose, but I just wish he'd leave her be if wasn't going to do it right. I'm angry on her behalf she had to work hard to prove herself. Especially after their affair became public knowledge. She had to prove she was more then Nikki Sixx's Mistress his cast off. That she had talent. The girl had spunk she didn't like attention for attention's sake. I thought about bringing up an abortion, but Jenny doesn't believe that way. So it's up to me to do damage control I need to find her a new publisher that won't care she's a single mother or how she got that way. Jenny's smart she kept her rights to her writing so we just need to find someone else to republish. I can't believe they are willing to pull her kids books and destroy them because of some outdated beliefs. I have time before her starting to show will make it fodder for the gossip magazines. Nikki's not going like it but I'm going to have end her book signing tour and get her out of the public eye. Her being known as reclusive isn't a bad thing right now.

Jenny's POV

I feel miserable my stomach is queasy and it's hot already in Phoenix. Damn I hope I don't throw up in front of the crowd. That would be a fun news story. I spend what seems like hours signing and smiling before it's over. Allen is right by my side the whole time. I don't know how he's getting anything done while babying me. I really just what to dropped off at the hotel, but Allen is in a hurry to get to the venue. I barely get backstage before I find a trashcan to puke in. Oh this is so delightful I moan. I don't remember ever being this sick with the first four.

"Oh poor baby," one of the Crue's back up singers is beside me and helps me to a couch in their dressing room. "How far along are you sweetie?" I try to deny it. "Don't worry I won't say a thing." She smiles.

"Thank you." I smile back. " I'm 5 weeks.

"Wow and already sick, this ones in hurry to make itself know." She giggles.

"Yes." I agree.

"Just gets some rest." She says. "I'll let the powers that be know where you're at." With that said she closes the door.

Nikki's POV

I open the door for Donna to the hotel room and wait for her to go inside. She pauses and looks up at me.

"Aren't you coming inside?" She asks.

"No." I answer.

"Why?" She asks.

"Donna I know I've done some shit things in our marriage. I've tried to make amends for them. But what you did with the condoms really sucks. I need time to deal with it. Even with the arguments and the things we did to each we still had some trust going for us. I think you should go home tomorrow. Let me know if you got your way and we will work it out. But for right now I'm done faking it."

"Fine I'll go," she sneers. "But I think you should know a little birdie told me what you've been up to and something else your little whore is hiding something from you."

She turns and slams the door in my face.

"Ah fuck." I groan.