My Heaven And My Hell

The Past Never Stays Buried 4/28/05

Nikki's POV
 

"Why was I not informed of this Nikki? Kovac groans.

This is the second time I've had a gossip mag tossed at me in a month in a half.

"What is it now?" I answer him with a question. He takes it from me and opens it. There is a picture of a younger me in my arms is a very young Jenny. We are being very intimate.

"Why didn't you tell me I could have..." 

  "What would you've have done they will think what they want." I say cutting him off. "It was our moment no one elses."

"Well now Nikki they believe that You both have been together since you were young." Allen sighs. "They are saying all her children are yours."

"What I haven't seen her since 87. I called once, but her mother said she was getting married the next day. I didn't call again." I blurt out.

  "You tried to call her she was married in 1991 you were married." He gives me a accusing look.

"I just wanted to see if she was ok" I shrug.

"Is that the only time?" He asks as he scrutinizes me. I sigh.

" Ok...I went to see her in 96. I was unhappy in my marriage and I heard she wasn't to happy herself." I admit.

"What happened when you went to see her." He presses.

"I don't think this is any of your fucking business." I'm starting to get annoyed.

"Nikki with Motley it's whatever but with Jenny I have to do damage control. You know there is a double standard. What makes you a stud makes her a slut." He says in exasperation.

"Not much. I don't know what I was thinking. I just remembered a sweet little girl. What I found was a sad woman. She was alone at her parent's home when I showed. She immediately tried to send me packing. Her eyes were full of fear. I convinced her to let me in. Her children were asleep. Lizzy was barely a month old then. We talked awhile she avoided any conversation that lead to how bad her marriage was. I still tried to convince her to come away with me. I kissed her. She nearly panicked. Her baby woke up. She didn't want her son to see me. So I left." I finish and fall silent.

"Is that all? He asks

"I called several times. She made it clear she was married and me calling was causing problems. So I finally stopped. After that I didn't see her again until the beach in 2000." I answer.

"So none of her first three children are biologically yours?" He continues his questions.

  "No." I assure him.

  "I always thought Mary was." He jokes.

"No it's a rumor we didn't correct. It's not like my wife didn't already think I was a prick anyway." 

The phone rings looking down at my cell I groan it's Donna.

"Hello Honey what's up?" I say trying to sound upbeat.

"Damn it Nikki they say you've been with her for years. Have you ever been faithful to me or anyone?" I can hear her voice starting to raise as she speaks.

"Don't believe everything you read in those magazines." I cut her off hoping to avoid the brewing temper tantrum. 

"So You weren't lovers when the photo was taken?" she asks with a discussed tone. 

"No." I deny it. I don't want to give Donna anymore mud to sling at Jenny. "She was just a girl I grabbed for a make out session she blushed and ran off to her mommy after. I didn't even know her name." I wasn't going to let her make something dirty out of me and Jenny's brief time together. 

"What a coincidence to meet later and decide to fuck." she screeches and hangs up.  I now have a fucking headache. I sigh. I don't think it matters what I say anymore everything pisses her off.

The phone rings again it's Jenny this time.

"Hey Baby how are you?" I ask.

"I'm fine, but I have a favor to ask." she asks softly.

"And what would that be?" my curiosity peaked. What could Miss independent need from little old me. Half the time I don't know something is off with her until it smacks me in my face.

"I know you have a break from touring for a couple weeks. Could you watch my Children? My sister Jolene is sick. I want to help her out for a few days." she goes quiet.

"Sure I'd love stay with our children while you go help your sister." I say emphasizing our children. I hear her sigh.

"Thank you Nikki. I need you here by the 3rd"  I hear kids in the background singing and laughing.

"sounds like you have a house full." I laugh.

"I do." she giggles. "I have the horde all nine."

"You have Frankie and Ryan." I ask amazed.

"Yep, I guess something came up last minute. I got to get back to dinner Nikki before it burns. Here talk to the kids." So I spend the time before going to the venue talking to my kids. It was great.  I didn't get chance to talk to her about the gossip mag. I guess we can handle it later.

Jenny's POV 

I cover my mouth as I come  awake to muffle my scream. once again my face is covered in sweat and tears. It's a recurring nightmare I've had during each pregnancy. I feel so sick with fear it's taking every bit of strength to not give into my terror.  I don't want to frighten the kids. Hearing a noise at my bedroom door I jump.

"Damn you two scared me." I whisper. "Come on Poe, Stoker come sleep with mommy." I welcome the mastiffs up on to the  bed and cuddle between them. He is a busy man he doesn't have time to baby me I remind myself. I have dealt with this alone before I can do it again.