There's more to life (Adopted by Brendon Urie) | #2

#17

Song of the Chapter: Trees by Twenty One Pilots

Anna's POV

I can't breathe. I can only hear my racing heart rate. Help. Please.

"Anna it's ok, breathe. Look around. Ground yourself. Go through your 5 senses. I'm here you're here." I heard Josh's voice and I felt his calloused hands around mine. "Take in a deep breath A and let it out slowly."

I know
Where you stand
Silent
In the trees
And that's
Where I am
Silent
In the trees

Why won't you speak?
Where I happen to be
Silent
In the trees
Standing cowardly

I can feel your breath
I can feel my death
I want to know you
I want to see
I want to say
Hello

Josh's voice was very comforting and I almost immediately calm down. I wrap him in a hug.
"Thank you, your voice is very comforting." I say into his neck.
"Are you ok?"
I nod.
"I'm just sick and tired, really tired, of nightmares and panic attacks and stuff."
"I know little Urie. It'll get better."

I had finally fallen asleep at about 4 am when a nurse came in and saw I was still awake so she gave me some medication to knock me out and it was now 10 am.

"Sarah had to go to work and Brendon should be here soon."
"Oh ok."
"There's some breakfast for you if you want."
"I'm good."
"Please little Urie? For me?"
I sigh and pick up the cold toast and take a bite. It was stone cold and not very nice.

From dad: hey are you up yet? I'm coming now would you like anything?
To dad: coffee? For Josh too
From dad: sure xx

"Dads coming and bringing coffee."
"Yay but you do need to eat something, don't think you'll get out of it."
"Josh. This toast is stone cold."
He picks it up and places it back down.
"Yeah you're right. Ok, I'll get your dad to bring something."
I sigh but at least he wasn't going to make me eat stone cold toast.

"I have coffee and breakfast!" Dad says walking into the room.
"Coffee!" I say as he passes it too me. He also puts a croissant on the table next to my cold toast.
"Josh told me that your breakfast isn't very good so here ya go. Also what the fuck how can they serve this?" He picks up the cold toast and looks at it before putting it down.
"Well in all fairness it's probably been sitting there for an hour because I only just woke up."
"Oh. How did you sleep?" He says sitting on the other chair, handing Josh his coffee.
"Not very good. I didn't sleep until about 4 because a nurse came and gave me some medication then I woke up, panicked as per usual." I pick at the croissant. I take a bite to please my family.

———

The day kinda drags on, dad, Gerard and I watched some movies. James wanted to visit but he had work. Dad had to go home and have a band meeting; he was going to cancel but I made him go.

From James: Hey is it ok if I come over? I've finished work and want to see you
To James: yess please come over <3

"Hey Gee? Can you help me tell James?"
He looks up from his phone.
"Of course."

James comes in and gives me a kiss.
"Hey how are ya?"
"Yeah alright but I uhh need to be honest with you and tell you something."
"You aren't breaking up with me are you?"
"Oh god no. Never."
"Oh thank goodness."

"So you know that I use to struggle to eat when I was younger?"
James nods.
"Well I've kinda relapsed in that department too, I've been really struggling to eat which is one of the reasons I'm here."
"Babe why didn't you tell me?"
"I was scared but uhh that's not everything." I say and get a little choked up, it was always hard to talk about this and Gee knew that so he grabs my hand while I take a deep breath.
"I um have this voice in my head that uhh controls me that's why I relapsed because I c-couldn't m-make it s-stop." A few tears fall down my face. I watch James face. I couldn't read his facial expression at all. "I-I'm s-sorry I didn't t-tell you. I was s-scared."
I didn't know what he was going to do but I certainly didn't expect him to leave the room.