Xrizshelle | Fin

Chapter 5

Five: Joshua, Your Someone of the Past.

~Joshua's POV

[ Now playing: Missing Me by RJ Helton ]

I haven't told her a lot of things yet. About why I suddenly appeared in front of her, about why I'm so close to her family, and about me acting like her significant other. It's because I have my reasons and I don't want her to be caught of guard.

I haven't told her that I'm actually really fluent in Tagalog. Two reasons exist as to why I don't speak Tagalog, at least there are two for now. It might add up as time goes by.

First of all, when I speak in the language it would easily be noticed that I'm a foreigner (aside from my looks because I have an accent). I've been living in America since I was five but I was born in Korea. We transferred to America for my father's business. He was a businessman (obviously) and his business (fortunately) expanded around the globe.

Lastly, I don't want her to hear me talk in the language. I might say something that might trigger her memories from when we were still together. She might accidentally remember my existence and of course it's a good thing to another person's point of view but now is not the time for her to learn certain things about me.

It's too early for her to learn about why I left and why she can't remember me. I don't want her to be confused and most of all, I don't want her to hate me because I—I mean we hid the truth from her.

The most important things she needs to know and the things that I have to tell her can't be revealed now. It's not the right time yet. She has to be comfortable around me first. I know she deserves to know but I'm doing this with her in my thoughts.

I really do love her and I miss her so bad. Of course I want her back in my life like before.

I just miss the times when we were so happy just being by each other's side. I'd just gaze at her and give her a back hug and she'd love every minute of it. A simple gesture like that would make her smile the whole day... and I miss it so much.

I remember kissing her on this very spot under the setting sun. I remember how she told me she was lucky to have someone like me beside her and it made me so happy, it made me speechless. I wanted to marry her right then and there.

I long for the moments when she smiled because of me, when she laughed because of me, and when she loved because of me. I remembered what my father had told me whilst courting Xrizshelle. "You know you're doing your job right when you see her happy." And he was 101% right.

I miss you so much, my fiancée.

I remember that dreaded day very clearly. I witnessed everything and it stuck with me since then.

—-

February 9, 2008