We'll Catch You

Chapter 38- Just Admit It

**Khloé's POV**
They sent me a bunch of articles about Kylies Instagram post, they are fucking everywhere, it completely went over our heads and we forgot about it.
Kh-"Dem, all of the other judges are texting me about something, that they don't want you to know, but I think it's better if you just know. They are trying to get me to keep you away from the articles online about Kylie's post. It was inevitable that there was going to be repercussions from this and I thought it was better for me to just tell you."
Ki-"And if you need anyone to help cheer you up if you do read something, come to me or Khloé. Seriously, even if you just want a hug, please don't be afraid to come to one of us."
Kr-"Hey! Don't not include me in this! I would be the best person to come to! Don't hesitate to come to me for ANYTHING. From insecurities to boys you can come to me about anything."
Kh-"I hate to break it to you mom, but she doesn't even come to me about boys, I don't think she'll come to you."
Ki-"I am the best for boy advice!"
D-"Guysss."

**Demi's POV**
Everyone goes to their own rooms and me and Khloé get ready for bed.

We get in bed and I feel Khloé's arms wrap around me. She whispers,
Kh-"Don't let the articles about Kylie's post get to you, love you."
D-"Love you too." She rolls back over and I decide to look through a few things on my phone.

I go onto Twitter and so many people are talking about my performance. This one post though, really catches my attention.

Caption- "Demi Lovato flashes thunder thighs." (This was an actual article)

I press on it and it takes me to a website with a thread about how fat I am, how I should eat less, how I should starve myself, how I should throw up, how ugly I am. How I should kill myself. End it all. This was just fuel to my demons.

I soon couldn't read anymore comments, because my vision it so clouded up my all the tears. Tears are now free falling down my face, which is fine because Khloé is asleep and nobody is around.

I'm about to get up to go to the bathroom and properly cry it out, Kim walks into the room and whispers,
Ki-"Is anyone still awak-" she looks me in the eyes and drags me out of the room, so we don't wake up Khloé.
Ki-"What did we say about reading the articles? And Dem why did you just sit there silently cry, I said to come get me."
D-"I didn't want to wake you up."
Ki-"Seriously, when I say it I mean it, I don't care if you wake me up, I want you to wake me up so I can help you. Show me your phone."
D-"N-no"
Ki-"D, please? I need to be able to see it to help. What does it say about your father?"
D-"That's the thing, it's not about that." Kim's face softens and she puts her hand on my shoulder.
Ki-"Dem-Dem, show me," before I can put my phone in my pocket, it is was swiped out of my hand and Kim looked at the article. 'Demi Lovato's Thunder Thighs' Just the title makes her tear up.
Ki-"Dem why are you looking at this?"
D-"Because they're telling the truth."
Ki-"D no there not! In the slightest! You are so fucking beautiful, I've never seen anyone wear a short skater skirt and not flash people, and lets just say yours is the best I've seen, your legs look great. Let me read a couple more comments,"
D-"Kimmy please don't."
Ki-"Dem, p-please don't starve yourself. You've already got some weird food thing going on, that I will get to the bottom of, and I don't want you to starve of purge. Don't listen to all this bull shit."
D-"It's hard to not listen when it feels like the whole world is saying it." I say quietly.
Ki-"Dem, be honest with me, I won't judge you. Do you have an eating disorder." I've practiced being asked this question so many times in the mirror, so if I was ever asked I could say no believably without stumbling.
D-"No."
Ki-"Dem I know the signs."
D-"Kim I don't!" That came out a bit more aggressive than I intended..
Ki-"Then why are you getting so defensive?"
D-"Kimmy, it's pretty damn obvious I don't have an eating disorder, I'd be a lot skinnier if I had that."
Ki-"Well, it's pretty fucking obvious you have body dysmorphia, I've thought that for a while."
D-"Uhh.. I don't think so Kim, I just am realistic when I think about the way I look." Kim leads me over to a long mirror.
Ki-"Tell me what you see."
D-"Uhh, I see me?"
Ki-"But how do you feel about that?"

My demons are practically screaming the words 'fat, ugly, whale' over and over, but I need to try and compose myself in front of Kim. I want to sound believable, so not saying I'm perfect and shit. I come up with the perfect thing to say.
D-"Someone who is comfortable with their body but often gets told she shouldn't be, but I will always remember I'm p-p-pretty." It couldn't have been more unconvincing if I tried.
Ki-"Dem, cut the bullshit, just admit it, you have an eating disorder."
D-"Night Kim." I storm off.
Ki-"De- I'm sorry!"

I have tears in my eyes, but I'm not gonna let her see that. I want to cut so bad but it's just to risky. I can deal with that tomorrow. I really want to talk to someone, to make myself feel better. I climb back into bed with Khlo and pull out my phone to text Niall.