We'll Catch You

Chapter 44- Nerves

**Demi's POV**
We all go to our chairs to get our makeup and hair done. We all continue talking about random stuff.

I ask my makeup artist what the look she's going for is.
D-"What kinda look are you going for?"
MA-"A natural, bronzed look with a light pink lip, and a high pony with a strand of hair wrapped around the hair tie."
D-"Sounds good!"

We all continue talking until we have all finished up with makeup then we go to our dressing rooms to put on the coordinated outfits chosen for us by our stylists which will look good with our makeup and hair.

I look at my outfit while my stylist explains what will look good with the dress, what overall look she's going for and what jewellery to wear. It's a short black dress with mesh at the stomach and neckline, and a grey ombré jacket.

I go and change in the bathroom, trying to avoid the mirror, but as I'm turning around to leave the room my eye makes contact with the mirror.

I feel I've gained so much weight from that breakfast this morning. I look at the visible flab's from the mesh and my fat thighs. Thunder thighs as everyone likes to call my thighs. They won't know, I'm not perfect.

I walk over to the toilet and force 2 fingers down my throat, after a few tries of just gagging, it all finally comes up. I feel instantly better, but guilty. I still look fat.. I walk out of the room to find my stylist so she can help me with what jewellery to wear.
St - Stylist
St-"Oooo, lets see." She looks me up and down.
St-"Perfect, you look so fucking hot everyone will love it." I don't feel comfortable, I look fat.
D-"Are you sure? Doesn't it make me look fat? And my thighs aren't in the best shape right now."
St-"No it's perfect, you look deadass skinny and you look great. I think this would go well with it." She hands me a couple rings.
D-"N-no bracelets?"
St-"No I think it would ruin the image we're going for." Shit shit shit shit. The concealer and foundation on my wrists often fades and make my cuts visible. And the fur from the jacket is against my wrists and is very itchy and will irritate them making them all red, and everyone knows about my cutting so it will be all over the news.
D-"Are you sure?"
St-"I didn't want to bring it up but I saw the article. I used to do a lot of makeup, most of the time like special effects makeup, and I got really good. Instead of bracelets do you want me to cover them up? I don't want this to be weird and awkward bu-"
D-"Seriously? That would be great thank you so much, it's good, everyone knows.." she grabs my wrists and applies the makeup, it looks great.
D-"oh my god it looks so good! Thank you!" I try to prepare myself as I walk out the door, I look so fat. I walk out and go over to everyone else.
KC-"You look so good Dem!"
D-"You look beautiful Kel!"
We all prep for the show and we get a break.
Producer-"10 minutes till air!"
I get a chance to speak to Niall.
N-"Demsy hey!" He hugs me.
D-"Hey NiNi are you excited to host?"
N-"Yeah I'm a bit nervous though, me, Khloé and Louis are going on stage."
D-"You'll do so great!"
N-"How are you Dem? Honestly."
D-"I'm a lot better, I just think everyone's gonna judge me, and we have an interview after so I'm screwed."
N-"Dem I think it's me, you, Simon, Kelly R, and Louis doing the interview, they just wanted a few people instead of everyone. And if anyone tries to judge you or if you feel attacked, they have another thing coming for them because i'm not just going to stand around and let that happen."
D-"Thanks Ni,"
N-"And Dem, you look beautiful." I blush and look down.
D-"Thanks Ni.."
N-"Dem I mean it, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise." I hug him and I kiss him on the cheek before we have to hurry over to the crew to prepare going on stage. We all discuss placement on stage and other shit, we have 2 minutes till we go on stage.
S-"Niall, before you go on stage you might want to get the pink lipstick off your cheek," we both go red and everyone laughs. I tried to rub it off but there's still a faint outline, luckily so faint it's not noticeable to the audience. Niall, Khloé and Louis go on stage first, then we hear them anouncing is one by one. In the order we sit.
Kh-"We have the boss-man, Simon Cowell!"
N-"We have the beautiful, Demi Lovato!"
Lo-"We have the phenomenal, Kelly Clarkson!"
Kh-"We have the great, Kelly Rowland!"
N-"Last but not least, we have the pop icon, Britney Spears!"
We are all sat at the judges table, watching all the acts until we get called for the advert break. I get a phone call
M - Management
M-"Demi?"
D-"Hello Demi Lovato speaking."
M-"Demi! So we've seen the recent news,so we are going to play it off and tell everyone the marks are from gummy bracelets."
D-"Is that believable?"
M-"It will have to do. And we saw the song leaked about your father, we feel the best way to deal with this is for you to just release the song."
D-"I-I can't do that!"
M-"Well you'll have too is practically already been released."
D-"It's too much of a personal song to be officially released!"
M-"We would like you in the studio on Thursday recording the song, see you then."
D-"Wai-"