My old friend [BTS fanfiction]

Self-harming

V's POV:

After gently caressing Jennifer's naked arm, I discreetly sit up to the edge of the bed and pick up my t-shirt next to the bed before putting it on. I get up and button back my pants before picking up my shoes and seing the time on the clock of the wall: 03;28am.

With only the moonlight as guidance, I struggle for guidance and see a rectangular object reflecting the moonlight. I approach it and see that it's Jennifer's phone but the screen broke off the actual phone, meaning it is definitely broken.

I should buy her a new phone, to make up for what I said to her. I find my way to the door as I pick up my jacket from the floor and exit the bedroom as I slip it back on. I quietly close the door and turn around to Suga standing right in front of me, making me jump up.

I whisper to him "What're you doing here?" and he answers "I need to talk to Jennifer about something. What are YOU doing here?" I think of an excuse before answering "Jen and I just had a fight, she can't really talk to anyone right now."

He nods and says good night before heading to his room, I sigh of relief and get back in mine before changing into pajamas and brushing my teeth while thinking of what I did earlier.

Sleeping with Jennifer was literally the worst thing I could ever do, I sure hope nobody finds out. Last night was amazing but it was a big mistake.

Next next day

Jennifer's POV:

I wake up to the sunlight shining on the bedsheets, my eyes flutter open as I sit up and rub my eyes. I look around and the room is a mess, shattered mirror and clothes scattered around the room.

At least I still have my sweater on, but I slowly start to remember what I did last night. I groan and cover my face with my hands before tears start forming in my eyes from the hatred I'm giving myself right now.

I get out of bed and pick up my pants and underwear before laying them on the bed and picking up my broken phone. The fight was bad but sleeping with Tae was a lot worse.

A tear falls on my cheek as I take out my outfit for the day and change into it:

I leave my room after wiping the tears off my face and go down the stairs to find nobody here, which is a relief to me because I really need alone time. I walk into the kitchen and find a note on the counter saying We went to buy groceries, call us if you need anything. –RM.

Yeah right, like I have a phone to call them. I suddenly get an urge to pee so I run into the bathroom and quickly sit on the toilet before going. As I look around, I see a raser but not the recent kind. The ones you use the blades for self-harm.

This gives me an idea and I cover my face as I lean over to my knees, cutting is definitely not a good idea but I deserve it. After I get back up and flush the toilet I take the razor and take out the blade before looking at it.

Many images pop up in my head of the members I kissed and made out with, Jungkook telling me he loves me at the hospital, sleeping with V... I get sad but mostly angry that all of these things happened in just a small amount of time, tears form in my eyes as I look down at the blade.

I roll up my left sleeve and approach the blaze to my wrist before saying as a tear rolls down my cheek "I deserve this" I suddenly slice my wrist in one wave and grunt in pain while blood runs down the sink under my arm.

I grunt in pain and lean over a bit from weakness and say to myself "That was for kissing Hobi. This is for making out with Jimin" I slide a second time right above the previous cut and hold in my screams of pain while blood continue flowing off my wrist.

I cut a third time as I say "This is for pushing Jimin away when he loves me" I cut a fourth time after saying "This is for having a date with Jin" I grunt as I feel my arm get weaker by the second so I lay it on the edge of the sink so that blood can still drip drown to the hole of the middle.

I cut again as I sob "And this is for almost kissing Suga" I squint my eyes as I close them and quietly sob before looking at the five cuts across my forearm. My face drops as I realize what I just did and drop the blade before quickly turning on the water to wash away all the blood.

The water on the open wounds stings which makes me groan as I wash it off. I turn off the water and dry my arm and hands with the towel next to me before searching in the emergency kit for bandages.

I find them and quickly cover my arm with an entire roll, I don't want the boys to find out I cut so I need to make this heal quickly. I leave the bathroom as I think of what a horrible person I am.

I walk back into the kitchen and make myself a bowl of Oreo O's after rolling back down my left sleeve. I start eating as I sit on a stool and get another idea of self-harm. I've heard about this Ice and salt challenge so I decide to do it, I need more torture because what I did was wrong and I need to get punished.

I get up as I swallow my bite of cereal and walk up to the ice distributor on the door of the fridge and push the button before an ice cube falls down onto my hand. I place it on the counter and get the salt next to it before pouring some on the flat side of the cube.

I quickly take off my jacket and tool up my sleeve to my shoulder before quickly placing the salt-covered part of the ice cube against my upper arm. The coldness makes it difficult but I need to feel pain right now so I continue applying pressure.

After a few seconds I feel it start burning but keep it against my skin as I walk up to the mirror of the living room. I look at the reflections and see my skin completely red around where the ice and salt is placed.

I see the ice cube start smoking so I immediately stop and pull off the ice cube from my arm, making me grunt in pain. I see through the mirror a gaping oval hole dug into my skin so I run back to the kitchen and run it under water, making the pain worse.

I groan in pain and stop before tapping the wound with a towel before I get in the bathroom and cover the burn with bandages. I come out of the bathroom and say to myself "Okay, I think that's enough self harm for everything I've done."

I sit back on the stool and continue eating my cereal after rolling down my sleeve, waiting for the others to come home.