Moments with my First Love [UNDER REVISION]

MOMENT 19: Crying Out to God

What do you usually do when your heart is tired? When you've been trying your best yet nothing seems enough? When you've spent years loving someone who never loved you the same way, or chasing a dream that keeps slipping through your fingers?

Baka tulad ko at tulad ng marami ay pagod ka na ring maging "strong Christian" sa harap ng ibang tao habang tahimik kang umiiyak sa harap ni Lord. We often think that faith means having everything together kasi. Kaya kapag nasasaktan tayo, we immediately hide it. We force ourselves to smile. Sometimes the hardest battles aren't the ones people can see. They're the silent conversations we have with ourselves before we go to sleep. Those are the tears we quickly wipe away before anyone notices and the prayers we never dare to say because they sound too emotional and even too "unspiritual." 

Kung tutuusin, parang nakakahiya ngang ipanalangin 'yan ang mga panalanging nagpapakita ng kahinaan natin e. We fear that God might think we're ungrateful or lacking faith. Pero when you read Scripture carefully, you'll realize that some of the most beautiful prayers recorded in the Bible were not polished prayers—they were broken prayers. 

Jeremiah didn't hide his disappointment. Job didn't hide his anguish. David didn't edit his tears. Habakkuk wasn't afraid to ask, "How long, O Lord?" Even Jesus, hanging on the cross, cried, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?" (Matthew 27:46; Psalm 22:1). Hindi ibig sabihin na nawalan Siya ng pananampalataya. Instead, He was showing us that bringing our deepest pain before the Father is never a lack of faith. Sometimes, it's the purest expression of it! Because the Bible never teaches us to pretend. It teaches us to be truthful before the Lord.

If we're honest, I think many of us have prayed something like this, even if we never said the words out loud. We often think that a "good Christian" should always sound hopeful and always smiles. We believed that good Christian always say, "I'm okay. God is good," even when the heart is quietly breaking. We convince ourselves that tears are signs of weak faith. We have this perspective that questions might disappoint God  or that struggling means we're becoming less spiritual. 

But when we read the Bible, we will not see God inviting perfect people into His presence. We will see Him inviting honest people.

One of the things that amazes me about Scripture is that God didn't edit out the painful prayers of His people. He could have filled the Bible with stories of victory alone, yet He chose to preserve the cries of broken hearts. Jeremiah asked, "Will You be to me like a deceptive brook?" (Jeremiah 15:18). Job openly admitted the bitterness of his soul (Job 7:11). Habakkuk cried, "How long, O Lord?" (Habakkuk 1:2). David, the man after God's own heart, prayed, "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?" (Psalm 22:1), words that Jesus Himself would later echo on the cross (Matthew 27:46). None of these prayers were hidden from us because God wanted us to know something important: lament is not the opposite of faith. Sometimes, it is faith refusing to stop talking to God even when the heart doesn't understand.

That's why 2 Corinthians 12:10 has become so meaningful... "When I am weak, then I am strong." Paul wasn't celebrating weakness itself. He was celebrating the God who meets us in our weakness.

Remember, strength was never found in pretending to be okay. It was found in finally admitting, "Lord, I'm not okay...I need You." And that's the reason why Jesus said, "Come to Me..." (Matthew 11:28). Not after when you've figured everything out. He simply said, "Come." Come weary. Come confused. Come disappointed. Come with tears if that's all you have. Because the One who calls you already knows the condition of your heart before you ever open your mouth.

There is something deeply comforting about realizing that God is never intimidated by our honesty. He isn't surprised by our fears. God will never ger offended by our questions or will become exhausted by our tears. Psalm 139 says He knows our thoughts from afar and is familiar with all our ways. If He already knows what's inside our hearts, then prayer isn't about informing God. It's about inviting Him into the places we've been trying to carry alone. The psalmists didn't become stronger because they hid their emotions but when they brought those emotions into God's presence. Their lament became the doorway to deeper trust.

I. God is never asking for a polished version of you; He is asking for the real you. 

We spend so much energy pretending that we're fine. We post encouraging words while secretly feeling empty. We say "Praise God" while quietly wondering if He still sees us. But look at David in Psalm 13, he began with "How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever?" and ended with "I will sing to the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me." The song came after the honesty, NOT BEFORE IT. Hindi ka mas magiging spiritual kapag tinatago mo ang tunay mong nararamdaman. In fact, healing and comfort often begins the moment we stop pretending. God can work with a broken heart that is surrendered to Him, but He cannot comfort a pain we keep hiding behind a mask.

II. Your worth was never meant to be built on people's approval. 

Kaya tayo madaling maubos kapag ang foundation natin ay validation. We start believing that we are lovable only when someone chooses us. Akala natin matuturing na tayong successful kapag may napatunayan o na-achieve na tayo. Feeling natin we are only valuable when we are useful. 

But the cross already settled your value. Before you accomplished anything, Christ died for you. Romans 5:8 says, "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Hindi Niya hinintay na maging worthy tayo bago Niya tayo mahalin. Just like the woman at the well who had spent years looking for love in relationships that could never satisfy her, yet Jesus met her in her emptiness and offered her living water (John 4). Also, the prodigal son expected rejection after wasting everything, but the father ran toward him before he could even finish his apology (Luke 15). That is the kind of love God has for us! The love that is never earned, not even negotiated, and never dependent on our performance.

III. Pouring out your heart to God is not weakness but a surrender. 

When Hannah could no longer carry the pain of her barrenness, she poured out her soul before the Lord (1 Samuel 1:15). Eli thought she was drunk because her prayer was so unfiltered. But God saw a woman who had finally stopped carrying her burden alone. Peter also learned this lesson. After denying Jesus three times, he went out and wept bitterly (Luke 22:62). Those tears were not the end of his story, they became the place where grace met him. 

Sometimes we think we need to come to God with strength, but Scripture keeps showing us the opposite. God kept using weak people so that His strength would be unmistakable.

That's why I learned to no longer want to rush people out of their sorrow with quick Bible verses or forced positivity. I learned that there is a holy kind of crying that happens in God's presence. Healing begins when we stop saying "I'm fine" and start saying, "Lord, this is what I'm really feeling." 

Psalm 34:18 says, "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." You see? It doesn't say He is near only to the joyful or the emotionally strong. He is near to the brokenhearted.

Bare in mind that you don't have to earn God's love. You don't have to prove your worth or even hide your pain from Him. Come exactly as you are! Cry if you need to cry. You can tell Him where it hurts for He already knows.

So let Him be what no person and no achievement can ever be. Let the God of all comfort comfort you. Let the God of hope fill you with hope. Let the Man of Sorrows, acquainted with grief, carry the sorrow you were never meant to carry alone. 

One day, like David and Habakkuk, you will look back and realize that the season of lament was not the place where your faith died—it was the place where your faith learned to lean entirely on the Lord!

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Highly_FavoreDii

To God be the glory!