Moments with my First Love [UNDER REVISION]

MOMENT 57: Dear Lord, I am tired

LORD, I am tired.
I am exhausted.
I am drain.
I am over fatigue.
I. Am. So. Tired.

When you admit that you are tired, does that mean you lack faith? Or, if you admit that you are already tired, does this mean you don't have faith anymore?

Our world despises tiredness or fatigue. It hates weakness or weariness. Our culture's ideal is to be strong, independent—do you know that? Those things that should look 'positive', 'able, such as that. That's why many people chooses to zip their mouths from telling what they really are feeling, what they really experiencing. Many people chooses to make themselves 'look' like they still can, but the truth is, they really, badly need rest.

Tiredness is very humane. It HAPPENS IN REALITY.

And these are tough times for us, indeed a tiring days, admit it or not. Online class, whether you're a student or teacher, it's tiring. You're a parent, a provider in your family to be specific, it's too hard to earn money in the midst of pandemic, too tiring. You're a child and you don't want to be a burden to your parents so you choose to hide your needs with yourself, it's tiring..
There are different kinds of tiredness or fatigue and we are experiencing different levels of it but ALL OF US need ONLY ONE REST—HE IS JESUS.

I've always been very private about what I really feel—my pain, struggles, tiredness and all. I have hesitated to voice it all out, I am always concerned about what others might think especially because I am a Christian. But as I've read the Book of Ruth, I have seen this one character that I have always neglect, this Naomi, who's exhaustedly and achingly honest.

"In the days when the judges ruled there was a famine in the land, and a man of Bethlehem in Judah went to sojourn in the country of Moab, he and his wife and his two sons. The name of the man was Elimelech and the name of his wife Naomi, and the names of his two sons were Mahlon and Chilion. They were Ephrathites from Bethlehem in Judah. They went into the country of Moab and remained there.

But Elimelech, the husband of Naomi, died, and she was left with her two sons. These took Moabite wives; the name of the one was Orpah and the name of the other Ruth. They lived there about ten years, and both Mahlon and Chilion died, so that the woman was left without her two sons and her husband.

Then she arose with her daughters-in-law to return from the country of Moab, for she had heard in the fields of Moab that the LORD had visited his people and given them food. So she set out from the place where she was with her two daughters-in-law, and they went on the way to return to the land of Judah.

But Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, Go, return each of you to her mother's house. May the LORD deal kindly with you, as you have dealt with the dead and with me. The LORD grant that you may find rest, each of you in the house of her husband! Then she kissed them, and they lifted up their voices and wept. And they said to her, No, we will return with you to your people.

But Naomi said, Turn back, my daughters; why will you go with me? Have I yet sons in my womb that they may become your husbands? Turn back, my daughters; go your way, for I am too old to have a husband. If I should say I have hope, even if I should have a husband this night and should bear sons, would you therefore wait till they were grown? Would you therefore refrain from marrying? No, my daughters, for it is exceedingly bitter to me for your sake that the hand of the LORD has gone out against me. Then they lifted up their voices and wept again. And Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her.

And she said, See, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods; return after your sister-in-law.

But Ruth said, Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the LORD do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you. And when Naomi saw that she was determined to go with her, she said no more.

So the two of them went on until they came to Bethlehem. And when they came to Bethlehem, the whole town was stirred because of them. And the women said, Is this Naomi?

She said to them, Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went away full, and the LORD has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the LORD has testified against me and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?" -Ruth 1:1-21

Naomi—a foreigner. A widow. And a grieving mother. When she went back to her hometown, she didn't pretend that everything is okay. She was like announcing her struggles publicly that time. She even asserted that God had dealt bitterly with her and had brought calamity upon her. She admitted what she really felt—depressed, tired and empty.

Maybe, the town-people thinks that Naomi is crazy, or she lacks faith. Actually, telling your struggles to lot of people will make them uncomfortable especially when they knew that you believe in God. Most of the times, our authenticity about our feelings often being misunderstood by other people. But, that deed of Naomi, showed that she trusted God enough to speak how she really feels.

When we are tired... BE HONEST for this will draw others to God as it allows them to be honest, too.

Honesty about what you feel isn't an opposition of faith. It actually reveals your faith.

To everyone who feels tired today, I feel you. But God feels you more!

God welcomes our tiredness to help us rely on to him. He knows that our tendency is either to pretend everything is okay even though the truth is, we are suffering on the inside, or to walk away from God having a belief that he doesn't care. When you admit that you are tired, just like how Naomi was honest, you invite God into your tiredness and you will know his comfort and others can see that your faith is real.

Our faith is not a facade we erect to convince ourselves and others that we are not vulnerable to fatigue, to hurts, to lackingness, to struggles, to mornings. Our faith is an oak tree that can withstand the storms of tiredness, doubt or pain in our lives, and grow stronger through them.

Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. -Matthew 11:28

To COME to Him, is to be HONEST with Him. Come as you are! He is inviting you today and offers you rest.

To everyone who feels to tired today, "Enjoy your REST WITH JESUS."  Praying for your divine rest, comfort and strength!

Shalom!
Glory be all to God! :)