Believe

Chapter forty seven

I'm in the toilet at Niall's apartment, my head between my legs. Every thought is spinning in my head. What am I going to do? What do I want for my future? What about my future with Niall? All these questions keep running through my mind and I can't seem to stop them.

Yesterday I saw Kim and we tried to come up with ideas so that I would still be able to do my job probably, but the second we came out of the office and someone regonized me the paparazzi was there in seconds. One of Niall's bodyguards had to come and get me, otherwise I would've been mobbed by all the people standing outside. Kim was looking at me with pity in her eyes and I felt horrible just seeing that look on her face.

I wasn't able to go to my apartment without security. My apartment felt not the same anymore. It felt so empty, like it knew that I wasn't there as much as I want to. I've been staying at Niall's place and have a lot of my stuff here. He doesn't mind me staying at his place, but I think it's too soon for me to move in with him. He didn't ask me to move in with him, but he tries his best to make me feel more comfortable under the circumstances.

My phone starts to buzz and when I look at my screen, I don't recognize the id caller, but it's a number from the Netherlands.

I pick up the phone and I instantly know the voice that's talking to me, it's my mom.

"Hey sweetie, how are you?" She asks me and I instantly start to cry. I feel so stupid for crying all the time, but hearing my mom again, asking me how I am, was just a dealbreaker again.

"Sweetie, hey, everything is going to be fine" she tries to comfort me and I feel the warmth of her love go through my body.

"Mom, I really messed up" I say and start to sob again, I'm glad that Niall isn't home, because he would be in the bathroom with me in an instant and seeing him with a pained look on his face just breaks me.

"Lauren, you didn't we all knew you had a talent and that when the time was right you'll be happy to share it with the world. Maybe this wasn't the right time, but you sure didn't mess things up" she says an I stop with crying.

"Mom, I don't know what to do, I wish you were here so you could give me some advise" I say and it hits me then that I really miss her. I haven't been to the Netherlands for at least two years because of my busy work schedule. It's quit on the other end of the line and I'm not sure why "is everything okay mom?" I ask her.

"Yes sweetie, everything's fine, I miss you too" she say with hesitation in her voice "you know what, why don't you just.....". She doesn't finish her sentence, but I know what she wants to ask. Do I want to go back to the Netherlands? I sure miss my friends in the Netherlands and it would be good for me to think about this in a different envoirment.

"You can come over for a few days, your little brothers would also love to see you again" she says knowing my soft spot for my little brothers.

"I'll discuss it with Niall, and I'll text you okay?" I say to her. I don't know if Niall will be fine with me going to the Netherlands for a few days.

"Of course sweetie, let me know and just know that there's always a bed for you at home" she says and it makes my eyes start to tear again.

"Thank you mom, and I know, I love you" I say trying not to cry again.

"I love you too sweetie, bye" she says and hangs up the phone.

When I walk to the kitchen I already feel a lot better. Just knowing that I can go back to the Netherlands and see my family again makes me feel more comfortable.

I'm just putting my famous lasagne in the oven when Niall gets home. He comes in the kitchen and takes in the smell.

"It's smells amazing love" he says and gives me a hug and a little kiss on the mouth.

"Thank you" I say and set the timer for the lasagne. We go to the living room and Niall sits down on the couch. I take a seat on the coffee table in front of him.

"I need to talk to you" I say and look at his beautiful blue eyes.

He instantly sits up and looks at me with a worried look. "What do you want to talk about?" He says and takes my hand in his.

"My mom called me today and she asked me if I would like to visit her and my family in the Netherlands for a week" I say. I can see the hurt on Niall's face "if you think you need that time to figure things out" he finally says.

"I think I do" I say and it's silent for a while.

"I'm going to miss you" Niall says and stands up to give me a kiss. I kiss him back and we kiss for a while already missing each other.

When we break apart I look at his eyes and just know that I really love this guy for giving me this space.

"I'm going to miss you too" I say and give him another kiss.

"How long do we have until the lasagne is ready?" Niall says with a devious smile on his face. I look at my phone and look back at him with a smile "we have twenty minutes" I say and before I can say anything else Niall already lifts me up and takes me to the bedroom making me laugh.

Hey guys! I hope you like this chapter! What do you think about Lauren getting back to the Netherlands? Let me know what you think :) and don't forget to vote :) xxx