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♠The Parent Talk♠
Written by trollqueen_780

As Indians, we are often scared or anxious to voice our thoughts about some things to our elders.

They will never support me.

What will they think?

Why is this so difficult?

We are often plumaged my different thoughts and weird scenarios of something that we fear the most: Rejection.

The only reason why I'm addressing Indians in this part of blog is because the stigma of conservativeness still prevails here at it's prominent. To those who are from homes where you can say whatever you want, kudos to your whole family.

Growing up, talking about stuff with my family has always been difficult. Don't get me wrong, they check up on me all the time.

What's wrong, beta?

How do I tell them that the reason I'm all moody is because I recently had a breakup? Or that I'm not feeling purposeful? Or I don't want to pursue engineering, dad, I want to become an author? Or that I might not be attracted to the gender you have concealed me so much from?

Not all these issues are related to me, but I have seen people agonizing endlessly about the fact that their family might not accept them for who they are. They might frown upon the opinions that differ and point out at the self that you finally feel comfortable with.

Do I love my family? Yes, to bits. Do they? More than anything.

Then why is it that we find it difficult to talk about things to them? Think that they never went through all such anomalies of growing up? Of course they went trough it! Crushes, dreams, opinions and all other matters that we battle it, they have had a fair share of them.

Now, getting to the point, all I would like to say is, India needs to develop in these social realms too. Getting comfortable with the 'talk', talking about the real hardships of life and encouraging each other to pursue long lost dreams. We need to lessen this generation gap that has torn us apart and made each other's enemies. We need to voice our opinions.

No aunty, it's not the skirt that needs to be changed.

Dad, I want you to start the business that you have always dreamed about.

Mom, I think I am falling for someone.

Yes, I know all you might think about is that these things would never work. All they will say is 'Shut up and do your work.' But we have to start at least somewhere. Let's them have the parent-child relationship they couldn't have with their parents. I know, opinions differ, we clash and we fight. Coming from a conservative household myself, I had to go through the ordeal of just nodding to whatever I was told. But, at one point, I just did one simple thing: I begged the question of 'why?'

Why should I marry the person you have decided?

Why should my opinions be the same as yours?

Why shouldn't I befriend a person that isn't of the same caste as me?

Why shouldn't talk to the other gender?

Of course, at first the only answers I got was taunting looks and annoyed glances. Then it was followed by the good ol' 'Cause we say so.' Finally, after thousand of relentless pursuits and attempting not to back out, they opened up. I realized that they have experienced some things that as a teenager, I can't imagine much.

Because you can at least blame us about the failed marriage than blaming yourself.

Because we were told so, and our life got simpler.

Because they, too, have discriminated against us.

Because he left me when he found someone else. Preserve your heart.

know talking this freely to your parents seems like a fool's dream. But hey, we can try.

The only step that remains after this is to mediate our differences.

Ma, it's not just the love marriages that fail. I'm strong enough to handle the consequences.

Having opinions isn't bad. We need to voice them properly and change them only if they are wrong.

The times are changing, dad. India is famous for it's diversity. We need not judge someone from where they come from. It's their way of life that matters.

Not all friendships lead to that, Aunty Ji. Some are just friends that we chill and talk out heart out with.

I am aware that this may not be feasible in each household. So when you become parents, make sure you produce a conducive environment for your loved one so they don't shy away from sharing what's been bothering you. Because not expressing leads to further problems of feeling lost, depression and this cracks up a family. India is a nation that values family. Let's keep it that way by hardening our bond. Of course, there's nothing wrong in keeping some things to yourself.

If any parent reading this (Hah!) please talk to your child about things. Share experiences and make them comfortable. Don't let them sweat in fear each time you get to know something new about them. Chill and enjoy.

So, when are you going to have the 'Parent Talk'?

Love and hugs.
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September 25, 2020 (Friday)