Begging For His Love(EDITING) (COMPLETED)

Chapter Fifty Three

CHAPTER FIFTY THREE

Burnnon Jevren's Point of View

When she said that she wanted to annul our marriage I first thought about where I was missing. Every day I make her feel that I love her and I have changed. When she cried and said that she did not want anymore, I only realized that the depth of the wound I caused her was so deep that even I, myself did not know how to treat her.

It's not because you've apologized then that means everything will be fine again. We can't insist on something that has long been damaged by our own stupidity. I love her and I don't want to lose her but if she doesn't want to continue anymore then what can I do to change her mind?

Putangina, papel lang 'yan. Kayang kaya ko siya ulit pakasalan sa kahit na saang simbahan na gugustuhin niya but who am I to stop her from doing what she wants? Gusto niyang kumalas sa kasal naming dalawa kaya kahit na ayoko at masakit ay kinokonsidera ko ang opinyon niya. Opinyon lang naman niya ang palagi kong pakikinggan.

"Give her time, Burnnon. Bumalik na ang alaala niya, what do you expect her to do? accept you even though you have left scars on her?"

I pour some wine in the wine glass and drank it straight. Nasa labas kami ng bahay niya at kapwa may hawak na mga alak sa kamay. I looked around only to see his dark barnyard. Cold, dark, and empty just like me.

"What do you want me to do? Pumayag sa gusto niya kahit na labag naman sa kalooban ko?"

Bumuntong hininga siya ng malalim at muling nagsalin sa kanyang baso.

"Paano naman ang nararamdaman ng asawa mo? Burnnon, ilang beses mo siyang sinaktan. Sabihin na nating nagsisi ka but the damaged has been done. Wala na tayong magagawa kung ayaw na ni Ami."

I pulled my hair frustratedly. Papaano ang nararamdaman ni Ami? Then how about my feelings? I do love her but this? I can't fucking do this!

"Hindi ako pipirma, magkamatayan na, pero hindi ko gagawin."

Nanahimik kami ng ilang minuto. Pinapakiramdaman ko ang sarili ko kung ayos pa ba ako, syempre hindi dahil iba na ang gusto ni Ami. Hindi ko kayang mahiwalay sa kanya.

"Ako ang kinuhang abogado ni Ami. Ayoko sana pero pinilit ako ni Maria, alam mo naman na hindi ko kayang humindi sa asawa ko."

I hissed under my breathe. I already know that Amillianza will going to hire my kuya. Afterall my brother was one of the best lawyers in town. Bakit pa siya lalayo kung nasa malapit naman ang kailangan niya, hindi ba?

"Will you really accept it? I will be hurt if we separate."

I averted my gaze at him when he looked at me with nothing but sympathy. I don't want that, I only need to stop Amillianza from freeing herself from me.

"Burnnon...I'm sorry but I can't do anything to stop her. You can't do anything to stop her too. Nakikita kong desidido siya na makalayo sa'yo. Stop forcing her to love you, little brother."

She loved me back then, didn't she? why now? Is it really that bad what I did to her that she would ask to be completely free from me?

"Huwag mo ng ipilit ang ayaw, Burnnon."

A lone tear fell from my eyes when I realized everything. Kung gaano ako kagago at naging kampante na hindi niya na ako muling iiwan because that's what she said and I believed her. Papaano ko pa ba siya pananatilihin kung matagal na siyang wala sa akin?

"Sinira mo siya and you can't do anything to heal her."

"Exactly, kuya! I can help her to find herself again. Ako ang gumawa ng kagaguhan kaya ako rin ang may karapatan na umayos sa kanya! Ako! Not that stupid piece of paper!"