Multifandom Imagines And One-Shots

Natasha Romanoff

Word Count: 1285

" Natasha wouldn't want you to be like this Y/n"

My body ached as I sat up from my bed to make eye contact with whoever was speaking to me.

" Well Natasha isn't here and she's not ever coming back," I let my body fall back down against the mattress with a loud thud.

" Come on Y/n at least join us for breakfast."

I let out a loud sigh before ripping the covers off of my body. I sat up and turned in one motion so my feet were dangling off the side of the bed.

" Fine Buck just give me sec," I saw the look of victory on his face before he left my room.

I never wanted to be an Avenger but fate works in mysterious ways. That day I decided to fight Ultron with them was the day I became an Avenger.

It was also the day I first spoke to the love of my life. At first I thought I was stupid for falling in love with her. After evrything I did with Hydra I just didn't think I deserved love.

At the time that's why I thought I fell for Widow. I mean she was unobtainable besides being one of the most reclusive members of the Avengers, she was also going back and forth with Bruce.

I was just some new kid that they weren't entirely certain they could trust. I didn't even have cool powers like Wanda and Pietro.

I could fly and turn invisible, that's it. What's flying without something powerful to put behind it? I guess turning invisible is good for sneak attacks but it's nothing compared to magic or super speed.

Anyway things with Nat and I definitely fell under the slow burn category. We were both damaged, both skeptical, and we both didn't fully understand love.

I remember the first time I let myself be vulnerable around her.

Flashback

Another sleepless night. Every time I close my eyes all I think about is the torture I went through. The brainwashing, the lashings, the orders to kill;  it was enough to keep anyone from sleeping.

The Avengers compound still wasn't comfortable for me. I didn't know where anything was, so instead of looking for solace in the building I put on a coat and left.

The night air was freezing cold. The coat I brought didn't help to combat the weather. I sat on the steps of the compound and took out a cigarette.

My hand was shaking as I brought it to my lips but it didn't deter me from lighting it.

I inhaled, trying to let the smoke in my lungs mimick warmth but it didn't work. I knew in the back of my mind I was shaking partly because it was cold and partly because this temperature reminded me of Hydra.

I felt the tears pouring from my eyes before I could fully process that I was crying.

" You know it's below 0 out here," my body jolted at the sound of the Black Widow's voice.

Usually if anyone had caught me in a state like this I'd try to compose myself but not tonight. Tonight I'm too exhausted to act like I'm not hurting.

I sniffled before responding to her," Ya it's pretty cold."  I was quiet after that, I knew I looked rough. If I saw me on the street I'd assume the worst.

That didn't stop Natasha from taking a seat next to me. My head was held down until I finally took a glance at her.

She was much more composed than me. She had on a large coat, with sweatpants, and beanie; it still wasn't strong enough to protect her from the cold but she wasn't shivering.

She had been forced to prepare for these conditions years before I'd even met her.

" Your cigarette fell out of your mouth quite a while ago," I changed my focus from her to the mostly unfinished stick on the ground.

" I don't actually like to smoke much. I've had this pack for almost 6 months," I thought they'd calm me down but they didn't.

" Why are you out here Y/n?"

My knee bounced as I made eye contact with her. I could feel myself fall apart all over again. I took in a sharp breath, my eyes piercing into hers," Couldn't sleep."

" Nightmares?"

I chuckled dryly at the woman," Not exactly. You have to fall asleep for them to be nightmares. More like flashbacks, every time I close my eyes."

I felt her scoot closer and wrap her arm around my shoulder," I know exactly how you feel." I could only focus on the warmth she was providing me at the moment. I liked having her this close to me, it gave me a sense of comfort.

I laid my head on her shoulder and silently cried. She sat there holding me close with her head resting on top of mine.

" You know I don't remember the last time I felt safe enough to cry," my voice had cracked a couple times trying to get the sentence out but Nat understood me just fine.

" I understand being scared to show emotion but you're safe here. I know in your head you're there but in reality Y/n, you're right here with me."

She shifted slightly and I lifted my head off of her shoulder. She wiped my tears away before she stood up with her hand outstretched.

" You're going to be sick tomorrow let's go back inside"

I was hesitant in reaching for her hand," I can't go back to my room Nat"

She shook her head," You can sleep with me in my room." I could feel the heat reach up to my face but I didn't let it stop me from taking her hand and following her back in the house.

End of Flashback

That was the first of many nights I spent in Natasha's bed. It was probably one of the more tame nights too. Being in this bed without her just felt entirely wrong but I can hardly will myself out of it these days.

I hate her everyday for sacrificing herself for that stupid fucking stone. It's selfish of me but I needed her. After I found out I played the blame game a lot. It was my fault, it was Cap's fault, it was Clint's, it was Quill's fault.

I honestly almost murdered Quill when I saw him with the other Gamora. I would've given anything to see Nat one last time.

I'm never going to stop thinking I could've prevented it but Bucky's right. Natasha would be disappointed in what I've become. She always thought I was stronger than I was.

The truth is I was always stronger when I had her with me.

" You know she's always with you right? She's going to be a part of your memories forever and no one can take them away from you."

" Wanda you aren't supposed to be in my head," I sighed as I finally stood up from my position on the bed.

" I know but Bucky said you might need a little encouragement," she made her way over to me and enclosed me in a hug.

I rested my head on her shoulder," I miss her Wan."

" Me too, but we have to keep going or her sacrifice was all for nothing"

Wanda let me hold on to her for a few moments while I composed myself," You're right."

I'm going to get my shit together and become someone Nat could be proud of again. I inhaled deeply before letting a small smile rest on my face.

" So, what's for breakfast?"