Incorrect statehouse quotes (And Headcannons) because I can

35

Utah: Do you solumnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Florida: No ❤️

Utah, leaning over to Texas: What do I do?

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Florida: Can we get a dog?

Georgia: When I adopt something small and happy it'll be you.

Florida:

Florida: ...when?

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Antihero Florida: He died of natural causes

Retired hero Georgia: You pushed him off a roof!

Florida: Gravity's natural

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Florida: Do I give a fuck?

Louie: No not one.

Florida: How many fucks do I give?

Louie: Zero.

Florida: Exactly so therefore your opinion is-

Louie and Florida: Irrelevant.

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Florida: *GASP*

Mass: What?

Florida: What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish

Mass:

Tennessee, chilling with Alabama: Do I hear screaming?

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Utah: Help I accidentally adopted 49 children

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Mass: I'm not always an asshole

Mass: Sometimes I'm sleeping

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Texas: Hey is that water or gasoline?

California: *pulls out match* Let's find out

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Louie: Bro I had a dream we fucked

Florida: Bro it's just a dream

Louie: Yeah, gay. I wouldn't fuck you

Florida: You wouldn't?

Louie: I mean....unless?

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New York, looking at a bag of cheese: Texmex

Texas: Yeah?

Texas:

Texas: ...Oh no

And that's the story of how Texas got a new nickname