Incorrect statehouse quotes (And Headcannons) because I can

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DC, at the police station: Where are my idiots.

Police: ..who?

DC: You must be new here

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Texas: Everything's bigger in Texas

Cali: Mhm suuure

Texas: *offended cowboy noises*

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Alabama and Ohio: Shut UP Indiana

Anyone else: Pfft yeah shut up for once

Both of them, pulling out knives: You have three seconds to run-

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Tennessee: Y'all'd've'f'ld've

Louie: You all would have if I would have?

Tennessee: Correct! It's a complete sentence with only contractions

Cali: The south is out of control

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Govt: How did you do this please you gotta help me-

Old DC: HA

Old DC: HAHAHA

Old DC: No.

Old DC: *grabs a blanket and walks away* It's your problem now!

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Govt: Every conversation I have with you people gets more and more absurd-

Louie: You say 'you people' like you're not already part of the family. I got news for you Sha, you're already on the Christmas card

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Headcannon from the rp chat, DC used to steal alot of shit as a kid. He also had an eBay account where he sold anything he didn't want. As he got older, he got more laid back. Or well, just hid his crimes better

He'll still steal shit, but mainly just because he can, he always gives it back

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Cali's all time favourite Disney song would probably have to be prince Ali or the reprise. Just makes brain happy. Like songs with lots of bass. Any rendition will do but the one by annapanatsu or however you spell is the best

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California has good impulse control, to a point. Like he won’t cut his own hair really because he knows it’ll look bad but he will cut up his own clothes or random markers. Markers have fluff in them

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Indiana has gotten lost in his room. It's not even that big the lights were just off. He ran full force into the door

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DC has a secret stash of chocolate. He gets very pissed when the other states steal it

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SoCal and Austin would be friends fight me

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Cali: DC we're going to a haunted house

Govt: What's wrong with the one we live in?

Cali: What-

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Massachusetts: I feel nothing

Pennsylvania: You cried during Connie's school play 

Massachusetts: He was really good!

Connecticut: I was a tree

Massachusetts tearing up: and I was so proud of you

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Govt: *walks into the house to see Texas and Oklahoma having a duel, the other southern states making bets, Montana, covered in glitter has Florida in a chokehold, California is cutting up the drapes, Maryland is yelling about crabs, Louie is stuck in the wall, Rhode is in the chimney, Massachusetts is chasing New York, and Alaska has collected all the fans, the table is on fire, god is dead*

Govt:

Govt: I was gone.

Govt: for FIVE. MINUTES.

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North Dakota: You look like a shitty muppet.

South Dakota: ....

South Dakota: Were twins idiot.

North Dakota: Oh-

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Florida: *hums the Indiana Jones theme song*

Indiana, from a distance: THAT'S IT YOUR KNEECAPS ARE MINE

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Utah: You have a swearing problem

Louie: Fuck no Sha, you've got the wrong bitch