Tw: a few kinda nsfw quotesNew York: I swear to god if you make me the mom friend I will tear your limbs off
__
Florida, after showing his drawing to Louie: HE'S LEANING ON THE WALL! HIS ASS IS NOT ON THE WALL
Louie: WHY NOT
Florida: HE'S SLEEPING
Louie: AND??
Louie: LET HIS ASS BE ON THE WALL
Florida: NO
__
DC, finishing a jar of Caramel: Awww the bottom's crusty
Colorado: Texas last night w-
DC: *holding a spoon threateningly in his direction* Don't you fucking dare finish that sentence.
__
Florida: cOcK aNd BaLl ToRtUrE
California: Please never speak again
__
Florida, about a politician: It looks like he's wearing someone else's face
DC: Kay shut u-
DC: Wait you're not wrong
__
Mass, at any given moment: *scoff* Pheasants
__
Rhode Island: Shut up
Texas: You can't make me.
Rhode Island: I have duct tape and a sewing needle, pick your poison bastard
__
Texas: Please stop telling me random facts
California: Astronaut means star sailor
Texas: Aw that's kinda cute-
California: Hitler had a shit kink
Texas: There it is.
__
Louie: *using Oracle cards*
Cards: You're a bitch
Louie:
Louie: ...you're not supposed to be the mean ones
__
DC, paranoid but also extremely tired and couldn't give a shit: *to some random shadow* Could you fucking not.
Shadow: *moves*
DC: sHIT
__
California: You'll never catch me at straight speed
Colorado: What about when it's icy-
California: I ' l l r u n
__
Texas: California, sweetheart, your bottomness is showing
California: I am not-
Alaska: California, darling, he's right
__
DC: Can you sit up straight?
California: *sits gayer while glaring at him*
__
DC: *drink black coffee*
DC: Ew why does it taste like iced tea
Georgia: *sighs in disapointment*
__
Florida: He got sent in for a...
Florida: For a... *has forgotten the word*
Florida: Fuck it, murder interview.
YOU ARE READING
Incorrect statehouse quotes (And Headcannons) because I can
FanfictionIncorrect quotes for Ben Brainard's welcome to the Statehouse series, will probably include ships. Disclaimer: I do not own these characters