DC: Hey Texas can you give me a quickie?
Texas: *chokes* wHAT
DC: Quiche! That's what it was, you still have some don't you?
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DC, in tears, yelling at his computer: PLEASE just let me sign in you BASTARD
Computer: Enter your password
DC: YOU WON'T LET ME
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Florida: Change is inedible
California: I think you mean inevitable
Florida: *spits out coins* No I did not
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Kentucky: What are you reading?
Georgia: Ten beautiful hair tips the government doesn't want you to know
Kentucky: whAT the fuck??
Bonus:
DC, from across the house: GEORGIA
Georgia: Oh shit-
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Mass: Just remember, if you ever feel stupid, or weak, or powerless, I'm not
New York: thANKS.
Mass: Your welcome
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DC, waking up at three am: fLORIDA NO
Florida, from his room: *in the middle of summoning a demon with Louie* Aw man!
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Alabama: Making my way down town, walking fast
Indiana: Bama! You're doing great!
Alabama: Walking faster-
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Indiana: I can hold the whole world in my hands!
Alabama: *scoffs* Ridiculous.
Indiana: No see *cups Alabama's face with his hands*
Alabama:
Alabama: ...shut up.
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Texas: If I was your husband I'd put poison in your coffee.
Oklahoma: If you were my husband I'd drink it.
Texas, under his breath: holy shit I'm in love
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Colorado: Yorkie? What are you doing?
New York: Just um...off...for a midnight stroll...?
Colorado: Yeah? What's in the bag? *snatches the bag and looks inside* Dude. What's with all the red spray paint? Are you going outside to commit vandalism? Because I really don't think the DCZ will appreciate graffiti on the walls.
New York: I am. No, I mean, yes to the vandalism. I found an Autism $peaks sign and I'm going to destroy it.
Colorado: Why the fuck didn't you invite me? Let's go, I've got a ski mask you can borrow!
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DC: What do we say when we piss off a bunch of states by bragging
New York: hoes mad
Alabama: Kiss my ass
DC: Why do I even try-
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New Jersey: You're cute when you are angry
Rhode Island: Then I'm about to get really, fucking adorable
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New York: Hey dolphin boy?
Florida: Yeah babe?
New York: Can you talk about space again? I need some kind of sound and your voice is so soothing.
Florida, grinning: Okay so, *goes off infodumping about a certain star*
New York: *stares at him with heart eyes*
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Indiana, throwing his head into Alabama's lap and looking up: Bama, tell me I'm pretty
Alabama, lovingly stroking his hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are
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Florida and Louie: We'd say that we're smart
California: Ok so what's the difference between mitosis and meiosis?
Florida: Don't fall for it Louie, he's just making up words
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Alabama: Hey do you like anybody?
Indiana: yeah you
Alabama: Oh...I'm sorry but I don't like you like that
Indiana: Haha, No I meant it like yeah I do, what about you?
Alabama: oh ha yeah
....
Indiana, later: *cries I'm the shower over unrequited love*
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Indiana: Truth or Dare
Alabama: Truth
Indiana: Do you want to kiss me
Alabama: Dare
Indiana: I dare you to kiss me
Alabama: Never have I ever-
Indiana: That's not the gAME
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Florida: *walking around still disappointed six hours after leaving the aquarium*
Texas: What did you think a tiger shark was, Florida?
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Alabama: God, you're SO clingy
Indiana: YOU came into MY bed??
Imma ship Indiana and Alabama after the latest episode and none of you will stop me
YOU ARE READING
Incorrect statehouse quotes (And Headcannons) because I can
FanfictionIncorrect quotes for Ben Brainard's welcome to the Statehouse series, will probably include ships. Disclaimer: I do not own these characters
