Definitely not based on personal experienceMontana: I’m going to the mountain
Cali: cool I’ll come with
Wash: this is gonna be a great hike
Cali: Wait w h a t ?
__
Wash and Monty: oh yeah it’s steep
Cali: W h A t
__California: We're going on a hike instead of going to therapy
Washington: Yayy cult mountain
__
Montana: there’s only one rock to climb
Cali, a few mins later, scaling another rock: You fucking liar
__
Cal, taking off his shirt: Why did you choose the hottest day for this.
Montana, also shirtless: I don't know
__
Cal: Oh hey look at all these clawed trees
Cal: Anyways let's keep going
__
Wash: Guys wait I think I lost my shirt
Cali: I'm not going back down there
__
Wash and Cal on the way up: CAVE! CAVE! CAVE! CAVE!
Wash and Cal, in front of the cave: I’m not going in you go in
*sound*
Cal: WHAT WAS THAT
Cal and Wash:*runs away*
__
Cali, looking through the cave: Looks like someone lived here
Montana, throwing sticks in: Yeah
__
Cali: *hears cave sound like somethings in there*
Cali: Oh shit-
Cali: *runs into a patch of stinging nettle he knew was there*
__
Cal and Wash: *hives from Nettle*
Montana, who has pants: Suckers
__
The three: *takes a snack break ten feet away from the maybe inhabited cave*
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Cali, looking at the doorway that's just..there: It says California! That's me!
Wash: California no-
Cali: *inches forward towards the door*
Montana: You idiot-
Cal, about to fall down a cliff if he inches any more: Fine :(
__
Wash: I just wanna take a picture, you go on ahead
Cali: This is how horror movies start
__
Montana: Ah yes, the random patch of concrete with a barbed wire fence
Montana: A normal forest decoration
__
Wash: Well that hole is Not Man Made
__
Wash, instead of walking slowly down the mountain: ✨water slide but there’s no water it’s just dirt✨
__
Montana: *runs down and faceplants*
YOU ARE READING
Incorrect statehouse quotes (And Headcannons) because I can
FanfictionIncorrect quotes for Ben Brainard's welcome to the Statehouse series, will probably include ships. Disclaimer: I do not own these characters