Super auntie! (c.c. & s.m.)

I don't judge you. I could never. (chapter 20)

"We can only learn to love by loving.” – Iris Murdoch

Camila POV

As we got back to the apartment, I placed Riley in her bed while Shawn and I organized the stuff that he bought.

,,How much did all these cost?" I asked him wanting to pay him back.

,,I don't know. If you are thinking about paying me back, you can forget it." He said and seemed pretty serious about it.

,,Fine..." I said not wanting to argue with him. The tension between us was anyways pretty big, so I didn't want to make it worse.

,,Look, Mila." Shawn said and pulled me by my hand to sit on the couch with him. ,,I know what you are thinking about earlier.....I want to be honest with you, but....I'm not proud at all about the past year."

,,Shawn, I know. You don't have to explain. I get it." I said and placed my hands over his, but he still seemed like he wasn't ready for what he wanted to say.

,,I don't think you do... There weren't just...girls....in the past year.....I.....I had an alcohol problem, Mila...." He said and looked at the floor like he was ashamed, but I could never judge him for anything. ,,I was going to bars every night and woke up every day with another...girl." He said and I took a deep breath knowing he wasn't ready for what he wanted to tell me. ,,After a while, I realized what I was doing and went to a psychologist. I stopped drinking and going to bars and the rest....but I-" He continued explaining, but I interrupted him needing to say something.

,,Shawn, I don't judge you. I could never judge you." I said and cupped his face in my hands and made him look me in the eyes.

,,I'm still not proud." He said in a tone that broke my heart.

,,You aren't like that anymore, so don't take yourself down because of what you did in the past. It could have been worse...You could've killed people." I said and he chuckled lightly. Seeing him laugh again warmed my heart.

,,Let's hope I didn't kill people while I was drunk." He said and his smile kinda faded away and I didn't like that.

,,You didn't. I know you didn't. If you did you wouldn't be here with me, but in prison. You aren't a killer, gosh." I said and started feeling a little anxious about how he felt about himself. ,,I love you. You know that?"

,,I know." He said and I stoke his cheek lightly with my thumb.

,,You wanna eat something?" I asked him while I put some curls away that were hanging on his face.

,,I do, but only if I cook something for you this time." He said and smiled at me.

,,Okay...Now I'm excited." I said giggling.

,,Don't be too much cause I can't do anything else than spaghetti, omelette and salad." He said and that made both of us laugh.

,,My cooking skills aren’t also much better than that." I said and after that there was a comfortable silence between us.

He put some curls behind my ear and looked me deep in the eyes. He placed his hands on my hips and leaned in to kiss me.

As his lips reached mine, I let myself fall on the couch and he got on top of me. I let my hands travel down his body and as they reached the end of his shirt I couldn't help but start touching his abs.

He broke the kiss, but only to start kissing my neck trying to find my weak spot again. My breath hitched as he found it.

My hands were traveling up and down his abs trying to memorize every inch. I stopped as my hands touched the end of his jeans. My breath was getting heavier with every touch and as I stuck my fingers in his pants he moaned and that woke up my butterflies in a way I couldn't describe.